Back in the B.A.D: Some impressions

Greetings from the Beacon of African Democracy where the sun is shining and there is a cool breeze blowing. I have been busy telling anyone that would listen that the weather is much cooler than the sweltering heat I experienced in Washington DC and to a lesser extent in New York City just a few weeks ago. Things in the B.A.D seem to be progressing. We just experienced a 36 hour power outage and it is generally hard to work out what exactly the loadshedding schedule is as it all appears to be random.

I've been here for a few weeks now and here are some pictures of my impressions.

1. New structures, new views
View from the new Tetteh Quarshie Interchange footbridge. Seems that when it comes to infrastructure, Ghana and Accra are slowly progressing...Shame we can't eat roads, power our houses with them or drink them.

2. To bleach or not to bleach.....

Beautiful Africa with beautiful people with silky, sun-kissed skin that they are proud of. Well, billboards in Accra will tell you otherwise. On a little walk to Accra Mall, we spied billboards very close to each other advertising tantalizing skin lightening products. Interestingly, one advert uses the irony-soaked hashtag entitled #Loveyourself. Perhaps the irony is lost. Well, unless they are actually saying that us with dark skin cannot possibly love ourselves. Very sad.

3. Street names are upon us

Lovely to see that the Accra Metropolitan Assembly has finally rolled out street names. Only problem is that our street name is not the one we thought we had. Also, our street name does not tally with Google Maps. Does that matter?

4. Election Fever that came and went

The non-partisan partisan District Assembly Elections were upon us a few weeks ago. To be frank, I do not know the issues or candidates in my area. I did check out some nifty posters though. On election day, I was hit by the bitter realization that I was extremely old. This was after I ran into one of the [hanging out-sitting-on-the-curb-with-his-boys back in day] area boys. He wildly called to me from across the street to go and vote. The amazing thing was that he was one of the candidates running for a seat in the Accra Metropolitan Assembly. I guess no one knows the area like an area boy. Alas, I had to signal to him that I am am not on the new voter's register...Sigh.

Still on the elections, I found this intriguing flyer at home. It urged voters to vote for "a woman" in the election. I understand the spirit given that there are very few women represented in politics. I may be taking the intended message out of context but seeing it as it is, I am just wondering whether competence of every female candidate is assumed?


5. Of half-wits and idiots
Sadly, some people are still idiots. A few days after I arrived, some half-wit chained their bike to a tree outside our gate on our property. I left a note threatening to dispose the bike. They took the bike at the end of the day and tossed the note. I am now in possession of a needle to provide a slow, memorable bike puncture next time they decide to use our flower bed as a parking facility.  If this is your bike, be warned. 

Ghana 2015

Just like that it is 2015. I was in Ghana to see the end of the glorious year that was 2014 and the ushering in of 2015. I meant to blog earlier about my experiences since it had been two years since I had been to my beloved homeland.  However, I just could not blog. Anything I had to say would sound like a diatribe of what my ex-brother-in-law used to call "complaining music". Let us not even get started on the reliable internet connection issues I had. Also, I am still reeling from the shock at how much things had changed and often not in a good way. On the one hand, Ghana does the appearance of a vibrant, rich, capitalist country that is full of opportunities so well. At the same time, it is also doing an impersonation of a failed state recovering from a long civil war pretty accurately.

Here is my list of some of the goods and the bads.

The Goods:

1. The Police: They are young, sleek and visible. Over a two year period, our police force on the streets of Accra turned young, goodlooking, athletic and professional. Not only were they visible but seemed to have access to equally sleek looking vehicles. At first I thought this visible improvement was just by chance but apparently it is a new policy. Police are directing traffic, doing roundblocks at night and for the first time in my experience of Ghana, actually doing their jobs.

2. Road developments in Accra: Ignoring the abysmal mess that is Kwame Nkrumah circle, there are a number of impressive road developments. Suddenly, the Spintex Road bottle-neck has been eased. The parts of the Madina-Legon road that I saw were also looking good.

3. Malls, malls, malls: A number of new malls and shopping centres have opened since I've been away. There is the Marina Mall, Osu shoprite mall, Palace shopping centre, Nungua shoprite shopping centre....just to name a few. 

4. Complex housing complexes: Not sure this is a good but there are dozens of new housing complexes that are being completed. Sign of rapid development or perhaps indications of an economic powerhouse bubble?

Villagio at Airport Residential Area, Accra

The Bads:

1. The energy crisis: Probably the most frustrating aspect of my return was the energy situation. The lack of power in Ghana is at dire levels. We have had stringent loadshedding in the middle of the 00s but the present situation is like a cruel punishment the populace is being subjected to. The energy crisis just goes to show what happens when incompetence and mis-management go unchecked. The least said the better.

2. The water crisis: For the past 20 years, we have had a house in a neighborhood with constant, reliable water that was available daily. That has changed. It seems the way in which the Ghana Water Company optimized water supply to other areas was NOT to come up with ingenious ways of getting additional water supplies but by simply robbing Peter to pay Paul. So my neighborhood has suddenly turned into a dry area with an unknown water schedule. It does however seem to come on around 3am on inconsistent days.

3. Falling cedi and killer prices: Although I am away from Ghana now, I am still reeling from the effect of the falling cedi on prices across the board. Taxi rides that cost GHC 5.00 two years are now going for GHC 10 minimum. Someone has gone through all the restaurant menus at my favorite places and multiplied all prices by 2.5. To make things worse, salaries did not go up in the same way.

There are so many bads to list but really do not want to turn this into a huge bitter rant. In all, Ghana is still Ghana. The public's expectations of leaders are still low. Every public school building is still being used as a church venue. Kotoka International Airport's arrival terminal still has not changed (in my eyes) since 1985. There are still 100s of youth selling mobile phones without boxes at Circle. Some banks are still a hotbed of inefficiency and privileged people are still worshiped.  

In essence, home is still home. 

The Return

Picture taken at the Tetteh Quarshie Roundabout in Accra, circa 2009

It has been a while since I blogged. Since August, I have managed to learn a lot about myself, what constitutes family and friendship as well as managed to become a PhD holder. The past few months were harrowing at times, exhilarating, frustrating, joyous and sad. In a few days, I will be in Accra, the place I re-fell in love with in the early '00s. Living in Accra I was able to witness many transformations and changes. Back in '08, I started blogging about these. So much has changed in my life and in Ghana since then. I have not been back to Ghana since January 2013. I am therefore very curious to see the changes. Social media, family and friends talk about a Ghana that is frustrating, burdened with rising costs and a government that seems out of its depth.

Of #Ghanaliving and the latest Menace(s) to Society

"AMA recieves (sic) motorcyle" - From the Accra Metropolitan Assembly  website ama.gov.gh
The webmaster seems to have forgotten 'I before 'e' except after 'c''

Being back in Accra after an almost 12 month hiatus, I am keenly taking note of changes to the Beacon of African Democracy (BAD) especially since Ghana is the poster child for Africa. One thing that I have noticed that makes Ghana December 2011 very different from Ghana December 2012 is the exponential proliferation in the number of motorcycles on the streets of Accra. I must admit that the first time I actually noticed these motorcycles was when one sped comfortably through a red light almost colliding with oncoming traffic. What surprised me most was the fact that there was a policeman at the junction and not only did his presence not seem to raise much concern with the cyclists but he did not do anything about them speeding through the aforementioned red light. Later on that day, I was amused to be passed by a motorcycle weaving through traffic with a passenger with a goat on his lap....I kid you not....a goat.

Very quickly however, I have come to realize that motorcycles on the streets of Accra appear to be the latest essential ingredients for accidents. Not only do motorcycles weave through traffic and overtake on the left side, they also ignore traffic light rules and not too many riders seem concerned with helmets. I am not only ranting because I met a motorcycle rider on a deserted street in Kokomemle driving on the left side of the road and angrily gesturing for me to shift to the wrong side of the road. I wanted to stop my car and ask the clearly confused man if he had just arrived from the UK and somehow forgotten that we drive on the right side of the road in Ghana but alas, he had sped away at the same dangerous speed at which he had shown up in the first place. So, if any one is reading this, I do have a couple of random questions:

1. Whose brilliant idea was it to allow these dangerous motorcycles to proliferate without being checked?

2. Or am I wrong and is someone actually monitoring these motorcyclists and their dangerous activities?

3. Anyone keeping a count of the number of accidents caused by motorcyclists?

Over to you all.

Toilet Talk Continues: "No Sanitation facilities in 91% of homes, Accra Metropolitan Assembly reveals" - Daily Graphic

Daily Graphic: 15 January 2011

Whether we like it or not, toilets do appear to be on the lips of many in the fair metropolis of Accra lately. Following my brief foray into the murky world of water closets, pan latrines and night-soil collectors, the 15 January 2011 issue of the Daily Graphic newspaper has an interesting article on its front page. According to the article, the Accra Metropolitan Assembly (AMA) has revealed that 91% of homes are without any sanitation facilities. The article states:

• 114,521 residences are without any place of convenience
• 9,149 have water closets
• 1,842 have Kumasi Ventilated Improved Pits (KVIP)
• 315 are using  outlawed pan latrines
• 79  are using pit latrines

These figures are extremely alarming and I am still unsure exactly how the Public Health Unit of the Assembly arrived at the numbers. Regardless, they do indicate that the proper disposal of human waste is a serious problem for the burgeoning metropolis of Accra. Time for some serious toilet talk.

"Knock, knock...", "Whose there?", "The Mayor....", "The Mayor Who?" ,"The Mayor of Accra"

 A Nightman's Calling Card. Source: Wikimedia Commons

One the unfortunate characteristics of rapidly urbanising cities across the globe, is the issue of waste disposal. Although we never want to think about it, human waste is no exception. How does one deal with it? Apparently Georgian London had the "Night-Soil Men" or "Night Men" who were paid to remove excrement from cesspits/privies to be taken out of the city at night. In Victorian times, there was the aptly named Great Stink  in the summer of 1858 when apparently the smell of untreated human waste reached overpowering proportions in central London. Not sure where the Night Men were then. 

Quite recently, the spotlight has been on the  Safai karamchari in India who have the unenviable task of collecting and disposing of human waste in towns all over India. Apparently the practice has been banned but still continues. 

An Urban Centre. Country unspecified. Source: Ghanaian Times

In Ghana, we have a similar history of night-soil carriers or bucket latrine collectors. They have also been banned and the emphasis has been on having a water closet (WC) in one's home or accessing public toilets for a fee. Perhaps I had been living on Planet Naivety too long but very recently I was rendered speechless when I heard  that some landlords in Ghana rent out accommodation without necessarily providing toilet facilities! It gets worse when such houses are in places without public toilets and tenants are left to their own devices. In case anyone is eating, I will refrain from mentioning some of the more colourful waste disposal methods I have heard of.

Last year apparently, the Accra Metropolitan Assembly (AMA) issued an order that all landlords in Accra should have toilet facilities available to their tenants or riskfacing fines.

The Mayor of Accra, Dr. Alfred Vanderpuije , has started his own "Action Year" with an interesting initiative deserving of a gold star. In the company of glamorous Ghanaian celebrities, the Mayor embarked on  unannounced house-calls a few days ago to inspect toilets. I can't think of anything more embarrassing for non-complying landlords than having the Mayor, actor Majid Michel and a swarm of journalists at your door to inspect a non-existent or sub-standard toilet. By the way, in case you are unfamiliar with the talented Majid Michel he's is known for his lead roles in  contemporary Ghanaian cinematic gems such as Agony of the Christ. If you missed that one,  you may recall his uncanny ability to deliver his lines exactly like Al Pacino in the epic Ghanaian Scarface "remake" Crime to Christ. Well, to be honest not 'exactly'. Hmm...in fact, not even close. Anyway, now that the Mayor has somehow tackled one aspect of the toilet issue, I hope he will act on decongesting Accra Central and finding creative ways to deal with waste disposal in general. Hope.

Ghana's Finest: The smoldering hot Majid Michel.

World Water Day: Water, Water Nowhere, Nor any drop to drink

Water, water, every where,Nor any drop to drink.Samuel Taylor Coleridge, The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

Today is World Water Day and to  mark this annual event, GhanaBlogging is making the noble effort of highlighting the problem of water in Ghana and the world.

I thought long and hard about the best way to explore water issues associated with Accra life. I thought about pictures of polluted water in choked gutters in my neighbourhood or perhaps a vivid description of the very pungent 'water' my nostrils encountered in the ironically nicknamed Lavender Hill last week. In the end, I have opted for a post on the essential everyday items one needs to tackle water shortage blues associated with living in urban Ghana from my perspective.

Item 1: The Polytank

Polytank is a brand name for a water storage tank that has become a generic term in Ghana. A bit like 'cellophane', 'aspirin' and (believe it or not!) 'heroin'. Polytanks are essential for all homes in Accra. First of all,  not every area in Accra is fortunate to have steady water flow and even in the very rare areas where water flows 24 hours, shortages are inevitable! Some years ago, my 'hood was supposedly such an area but my parents still had the foresight to get a polytank. Our polytank has multiplied into three and these have buffered us from recent water shortages. Interestingly, one problem we recently encountered is not realising that our neighbourhood was griped by water shortages until even our three polytanks finally emptied!

The water-tanks that buffer water shortages...well, until they also run out!

Item 2: When the Polytank fails, enter the yellow jerrycan

One of the must-have accessories in Accra at the moment is the bright yellow cooking oil jerrycan affectionately known as the Kufuor gallon. It was during the Kufuor administration that these oil gallons supposedly became synonymous with water shortages but are causing quite the stir lately. I must say they are perfect for water storage. Leaving work after dark, you are always bound to find someone outside nicodemusly filling a car boot full of gallons destined for a water-deficient part of town. During a dire  water shortage a few weeks ago EVERYONE at work had at least one gallon with them! 

Some water gallons I caught on my camera phone outside a mechanics workshop I visited today. We told him I was highlighting the problem of water shortages in Accra and he asked if we were journalists...citizen journalists perhaps?!

Item 3: The Water Sachet

When it hit the Ghanaian scene a few decades ago, water in a sachet seemed like the best thing since plantain and beans. Before the water sachet, water was available in traffic from recycled plastic cups filled by large gourds....apparently. The plastic water sachet is now more of a bane than a boon given the shocking masses  of plastic waste it generates! In fact, in one of my earliest posts I highlighted the work of an amazing company Trashy Bags on tackling the plastic waste problem in Ghana through innovative recycling.

Unfortunately, sachet water/bottled water is essential as a source of drinking water in any home. Even if you are lucky to have water flowing through your taps can you trust  where your water is coming from?  A friend of mine described how he discovered the dubious water delivered to his home by tanker was mysteriously hard and refused to  lather. In the end he had to wash in sachet water! Let's not even talk about drinking that hard water. 

Speaking of trust, do we actually know the source of water sachets? A few years ago, an undercover TV  report revealed how some water sachet companies advertising filtered mineral water were actually preparing sachets in people's bathrooms and were neither filtered nor hygienic!

 The humble water sachet

Indeed, unless you have your own private reservoir of chlorinated water, you are bound to be affected in some way or another by water shortages in Ghana. Sadly, solutions are nowhere in sight. Or do you have one you would like to share?

Movie Making on an Accra Street: The Gawker's Paradise

 

Movie-making on a dusty street in Accra

Being a curious, nosy gawker, when I see a crowd of people gathered I instinctively stop and stare.  You would be appalled to see the effect a street brawl has on me! So when traffic was held up on a dusty road in my 'hood  2 weeks ago, I just had to pull to the side of the road  to satisfy my curiosity. There was a small crowd gathered and all I could see up ahead were some people making strange bodily motions on the side of the road near a parked car. They appeared to be expressing elements of surprise at the car's contents. As traffic was waved on, my eyes fell on a camera, an overhead microphone and an actor I have seen in that Ghanaian TV series Sun City. A movie was in motion! I was excited since I think this is the first time I have stumbled onto a set anywhere in the world. People I know always seem to be in some fast-food restaurants when one Nigeria-Ghana film collaboration or another is being made but never me. In other parts of the world they use paid extras to decorate the scene while in our neck of the woods we use real people! Do you have any experiences walking in on a movie or television series set?

Is the Electricity Company of Ghana (ECG) demonstrating a committment to romance all over Accra??

I was planning a walk around my very dimly-lit neighborhood tonight. I called home and apparently the lights are off AGAIN!  Of course the ironic part is that the electricity company was sure to bring the electricity bill 'round THIS afternoon. 

Today's power-outage is particularly perplexing. I could have sworn my eyes glazed across a newspaper article  late last week that explained these recent frequent power-outages. The tone of the article was that the current spate (to borrow from the Phrasebook of Overused Phrases in Ghana) of power-outages were to be a thing of the past. So now I'm completely at a loss. But eureka...a light-bulb just went off  (sadly only in my head); the power-outages MUST be a sign of the ECG's commitment to promoting romance all over Accra! Why else are we being forced to have dinner by candlelight night after night? Mmm, let's just hope no fires are started because then we are pretty much screwed!

Candelight Dinner

Source: www.blairibmagnet.org/

Third World Living: Mesmerized by Road Works

I have always hated the expression the "Third World" . It seems so condescending and patronizing yet it has an undeniable ring of truth to it. We do things differently down here and not necessarily in a good way! Anyway, Saturday morning brought much joy to my neighbourhood. The sound of loud machinery and the smell of tar signaled the start of road work on our street and the adjoining road. I should explain that we have had a house in our 'hood for over 20 years and have endured all the dust, dirt and grime that comes from living close to an un-tarred road. We have even put up with the endless fake/pretense moves to tar our roads. I cannot even begin to count the number of times some truck has arrived under the cover of darkness around 3am to dump mounds of sand on the street as part of a scheduled job that never actually happens. Eventually, a contractor will run out of money or something else will come up and the road work will be postponed.The strange thing is that most of the roads in the wider 'hood are tarred! Note: I'm ignoring the scary potholes -the -size-of-moon-craters-issue because that is a whole different topic.

So when real road tarring started on Saturday morning, it was hardly surprising to find people in our 'hood had pulled up chairs by the roadside and were eagerly taking in all the action. I myself watched completely mesmerized and in awe for a whole 10 minutes without moving. I was half-expecting street hawkers to show up selling plantain chips and cokes to the gathered crowd. By the way, how is it that hawkers always know where the traffic jams are all over Accra? That is something that has always baffled me. Back to the road...while we watched, my mother pointed out with amusement that it was like we were all transported to the pre-independent Gold Coast where the inhabitants of a remote community had gathered to see a tarred road for the first time in their lives. Yes, it was actually that exciting!

Our freshly-tarred adjoining road. So beautiful to walk on.

But...it was all too good to be true. My new-road joy has already turned sour. Although our adjacent road is complete and has already turned into a speed demon's Grand Prix highway (or more like Grand Pricks highway), our actual street has been left abandoned. Apparently the contractor has run out of supplies. The road is half-tarred, half-complete and not a single peep about when work will continue. Now ain't that Third World living for ya?!

This is not a shadow. This is the Yin-Yang pattern that is now our street!

Busta Rhymes in Concert: When New York Comes to Accra....at New York prices?!

It is official: one of New York's finest sons, the hip-hop veteran Busta Rhymes will be performing in Ghana on September 12th. Well, at least that is what the spread in the Daily Graphic newspaper said. Sponsored by the telecommunication giants MTN, Busta Rhymes is bringing his unique brand of Brooklyn-infused hip-hop to Accra. Given his Jamaican parentage, Busta Rhymes could probably trace his ancestry to our fair shores but that is another matter. Anyway, according to the concert poster I saw, it will cost GHC 80.00 to attend. That is approximately $55.00. *Yikes*. This concert is clearly not targetting the "ordinary people" circuit but then again since when have concerts by international superstars targetted anyone but the elite? Even for the elite, isn't GHC80.00 a tad steep? As much as I love remnants of a past-life in New York and still lament not attending the Wyclef show last year, would I pay GHC80.00 to see Busta Rhymes in these current times? Would you?

Taking Time Out to chill in Accra

My friend El has now been in Ghana for exactly one week and for some reason thinks Accra is a cosmopolitan and vibrant city. He was even impressed that we had a branch of the world-famous Patchi chocolates. In fact, I had no idea we did but a visit to the Accra Mall confirmed that we do have a Patchi store as we found it tucked away to the left at the mall's Game entrance. Their chocolates are deliciously amazing by the way. I'm still hard-pressed to believe that Accra is so hip and happening but just being at the Accra mall on a Sunday afternoon amidst swarms of good-looking and vibrant people, has inclined me towards agreeing with my friend.

Finding a copy of Time Out Accra in a hotel store has further fermented my appreciation of the fact that Accra is definitely a place on the move. Back in my New York City days, Time Out New York was the definitive guide to all the happenings in the Big Apple; the concerts, the events as well as the best places to eat etc. It did great reviews and included how much a meal at a hot-spot like "The Russian Tea Room" was likely to set you back. So it was with much excitement that I bought my first copy of Time Out Accra full of glossy and colourful pages that really bring the city alive. Well, it was actually El that bought it for me but lets not get weighed down with technicalities! The magazine is filled with features, sightseeing options, what/where to eat , where to stay and where to be entertained.There's even an amusing section entitled "Pigdin Buster" that gives a few words in pidgin translated into English. So if you hear someone describing something as Awam or Azaa, you would know exactly what they mean! Time Out Accra is not only a must-have for visitors but also for natives of this fair city. Check it out!

The Curious Case of the Roaming Hypnotists

One of late father's favorite quotes was from the James Bond film Goldfinger in which the villain Goldfinger runs into James Bond way too many times and declares:

"Once is 'happenstance'. Twice is 'coincidence'. Three times is 'enemy action' "


Picture Above: 007 and Goldfinger at their upteenth encounter. By that time, Mr. Goldfinger was clearly ticked off with all the run-ins. SOURCE: www.cbanews.ca

The take-home message I have always held dear is that one has to be wary of things that come in threes. This brings me to the bizarre new breed of tricksters operating in Accra. I'm not referring to the much hyped so-called Sakawa Boys who according to some newspapers seem to engage in everything from internet fraud to turning people into snakes. Yes, you heard me....snakes. Nor do I refer to the confidence tricksters who usually manipulate their victims' religious beliefs to dupe them out of everything leaving them down to their last coin and underwear. What I'm talking about are a new garden variety of crooks that have been sighted at various points across the sprawling Accra metropolis. Here are three accounts I have heard highlighting their modus operandi.

Story 1: Kaneshie Market
A year ago my office-mate told us about something that had happened to a friend of his. She was at the Kaneshie Market when she was approached by a group of men in search of directions. She was not sure what happened next but before she knew it, she had chartered a taxi that was heading straight for her house in North Kaneshie. Upon arrival, she found all the mobile phones in the house, loaded everything up into the waiting taxi and sped off straight back to the market where the mysterious men were lingering patiently. Sometime after handing over the phones, she realised what she had done but unfortunately, the men had evaporated into the crowd.


Story 2: Tema/Sakumono (Not quite Accra but you catch my drift)
A month ago, a national service lady working with us ran into two gentlemen looking for directions. Before she knew it, she was leading these men to her house. She politely asked them to wait outside while she entered and retrieved her mother's and brother's mobile phones. She handed over the items to the men but not before adding her own phone. The grateful tricksters took off leaving the national service girl still in a daze.

Story 3: Somewhere in Accra
Just a couple of weeks ago, a prospective national service person who is currently interning with us was approached by two gentlemen very close to her home. Apparently, one can be described as short, very light-skinned with some sort of foreign accent (whatever that means!). The men were looking for some directions as usual. It appeared the light-skinned one was particularly taken by the young lady....at least that is the impression she got! He started to rub her hands while he asked her for the directions. Next minute, she was leading an expedition bound straight for her house. She asked her new friends to wait outside while she prepared a package for them; mobile phones, her new laptop and her ATM bank-card. She was sure to include her laptop password and ATM pin.

I've actually heard a 4th story but that would defeat my whole point about things coming in threes. What could explain these bizarre tales of crookery? Most people believe that black magic/charms/juju were involved but I'm a little more skeptical. Aside from the common thread running through the stories which is that that they all involve young women there is the fact that they were rendered into some sort of trance-like state by the tricksters.

I believe that these crooks are using hypnosis to make suggestions to their victims and getting them to steal for them. What is hypnotism/hypnosis anyway? According to the good folks over at Wikipedia:

Hypnosis is a mental state or set of attitudes usually induced by a procedure known as a hypnotic induction, which is commonly composed of a series of preliminary instructions and suggestions. Hypnotic suggestions may be delivered by a hypnotist in the presence of the subject , or may be self-administered ("self-suggestion" or "autosuggestion").
SOURCE: wikipedia.org

The Wikipedia article actually gives quite a lot of background to hypnosis.
I've only seen hypnosis in operation once. That was back in college at some entertainment events. I was a little skeptical then but when the hypnotist was able to get people to bark like dogs and do all sorts of crazy things I realised that there was much more to it. It did appear to work.

Alas, there is no way to prove that these criminals are using hypnosis but in the meantime, beware of people seeking directions and holding your hand while asking!!

Policemen at the Barrier

The Ghana Police have been very busy lately. Newspapers are awash with sensational headlines of gun-battles reminiscent of movies from the 1970s. You know the type of movies I'm talking about: cops behind a makeshift barrier exchanging gun-fire with robbers clad in black with stockings pulled over their heads.

Aside from tackling the robbery problem, the Police have (or is that 'has'..I never know whether they are plural or singular) really been putting the "Service" back into their name with night-time barrier check-points in neighbourhoods across Accra. So why is it that when I reach the police barrier very near home each night I cringe and groan? Why is it that I would rather take a long, convoluted very pot-holed route just to avoid the barrier? Well, an encounter at the barrier I had last night may give you a clue. I present to you a chapter from Policemen at the Barrier:

On a cloudy July night our heroine Abena is making her way home. 'Kiss me through the phone' is playing on Atlantis FM and she feels good as she croaks along. Just before getting to the dirt road in front of her house, Abena pulls her creaky engine to a stop at the new police barrier in her 'hood. She is met by a jolly, jovial friendly Ghana police officer who leans into the open passenger seat window.

Police-man: Good-evening my sister, how are you (he asks in the Twi language)
Abena: I'm doing well (she replies in okay-Twi)
Police-man: Yesterday you promised me something so here we are (again in Twi)
Abena: It was not me!!! I did not pass this way yesterday (in not-so-good-Twi)
Police-man: It was not you? Okay, so what do YOU have for me today? (he demands in very plain English)

Our Policeman notices our heroine is speaking bad Twi and also appears to have some sort of accent in English.He mentally adds an additional 15% 'Value Added Tax' to whatever he anticipates from the encounter.

Abena: I'm sorry but I don't have anything (she says in reluctant English)
Police-man: Then when? (he quickly retorts back in plain English)
Abena: Maybe tomorrow...

At this point, our heroine mentally calculates an alternative barrier-free route for the next day. She thinks maybe it would be a good idea to load her car with loaves of bread to hand out to police-officers demanding something. Speaking of policemen and bread, Abena's mind suddenly drifts back to a rainy night in late October 2008 when she was awaken by a house-call from 3 members to the Machete-Wielding Thieves Association of Ghana (MWTAG). The next morning after the 3am visit, despite cuts and injuries from a daring jump over her house wall, Abena finds herself ferrying police officers from the Police headquarters to her house just for them to do their job. At some point, Abena is taken aside by the Police Criminal Investigation Department (CID) officer in charge:

CID Man in charge: Do you have some breakfast for my men for coming all the way to take finger-prints? (he asks pointedly)
Abena: Oh I see....(naively turning to her cousin) do we have some bread and Lipton tea for our guests?
CID Man in charge: No, no, no, no, if you give them the money, they can decide on the type of breakfast they want..
Abena: I see...(she says disappointed, saddened and still in pain from her injuries)

After ferrying the officers back to the police head-quarters, Abena forks out GHC2.50 per head + GHC5.00 for the CID man in charge . Breakfast totals GHC15.00. She contemplates how she has been robbed twice: the night before by the MWTAG and now in daylight by the Ghana Police Service. She hobbles back to her vehicle on a big toe split open from the night before. Abena drives off into the clear October day disappointed by Ghanaian law enforcement.

THE END

Let me first start by saying I'm really grateful to the police for their new approaches to combatting crime. So my main gripe here is why is it that the police have turned over a new leaf, started new measures but still have the same old attitudes? They still feel the need to have civilians express their gratitude not through formal taxes but through informal levies. Granted police salaries are terrible and the lack of suitable accommodation is extremely worrying but why are the public constantly guilt-tripped into providing gifts to the police just to show our gratitude for them DOING their jobs? Can someone please explain this to me? In the meantime, I'm taking the long way home.

Reflections from the Obama Ghana Visit as seen on TV: He came, He saw, He Conquered... all in under 24 hours

An amazing thing happened the night the Obamas were due to arrive in Accra. It stopped raining for the first time in weeks and aside from brief early dawn rain on Saturday morning, we have been bathed in sunshine ever since! I call that Obama Magic. But lets get back to that Friday night. A few hours before Airforce One touched down, Accra was all kerfuffle. Cars were hurriedly making their way home like we had all been tele-ported back to the days of military curfews. I foolishly ignored warnings from family to leave work early and came face-to-face with monster traffic on my route home. Once I finally arrived home, I got excited text messages from my college friend M who works in Liberia (incidentally, like Obama, she has a Kenyan father and an American mother)


M: "Are you guys lining the streets to welcome Obama?"
Me: "No, we are all home. We were told the roads leading to the airport were blocked"

M was disappointed but could understand why the vast majority of Ghanaians were watching Obama beamed into their living rooms like the rest of the world. She still wants a souvenir she saw on CNN: President Obama next to a Kenyan flag and an American flag. Anyone know where I can find one?

Anyway, around 9pm, Airforce One finally touched down and the Obama family emerged full of smiles and warmth instantly charming all of us including our government ministers waiting at the airport. Clearly touched by Obama-Magic, the ministers could hardly contain their excitement; they took pictures and gushed. President Mills and his wife were full of grace and the whole ceremony was extremely brief but beautiful. I hear President Obama even tried his hand at some Ghanaian traditional dance.

The next morning I pondered over the possibilities of heading into town to either loiter somewhere around the Osu cemetery near the Accra International Conference Centre where the much-anticipated "Africa Address" would be held. *Alas* here's the thing:
I could've have loitered around but would completely miss the speech and possibly miss even a glimpse of Obama! In the end I found myself transfixed by the TV instead.

There was the breakfast meeting at the seat of government (Christianborg Castle). The sound of Angelique Kidjos's Akwaaba ("welcome" in the Akan language") was played as quite an apt soundtrack on one station. After a ceremony that involved national anthems and a super-quick inspection of the guard, the camera panned to a jammed packed area where the Who's who of Ghanaian political elite and society had gathered. There were the 2 former presidents, political party leaders, ministers, the Archbishop of the Catholic diocese of Accra and various other religious leaders. After President Obama's meet-and-greet , they sat down for breakfast and alas, transmission ended. I secretly hoped we would see what was on offer for breakfast .

I must have missed the visit of the Obamas to the La General Hospital because the next time I saw President Obama was when he was addressing the august House of Parliament.

What a rousing speech he gave! I will leave the analysis of the content to others .He spoke to all Africans; he addressed the youth, touched on issues of corruption, autocratic regimes and the need for the rule of law and democratic principles to prevail. The whole time I heard an underlying emphasis on "Africans can and should be self-sufficient"

One interesting remark he made was a reference to the young Ghanaian investigative journalist, the intrepidly daring Anas Ameyaw Anas He also mentioned Ms. Patience Quaye, a deputy police superintendent who has able to prevent a case of human trafficking.

After the beautiful CAN DO address, there was yet another meet and greet session with our parliamentarians. This time, we got to witness the effect of Obama-Magic on the opposition minority parliamentarians as they also excitedly shook hands with the Man of the hour. Majority parliamentarians were not left out either. Neither were Ex-president Mr. JA Kufuor or Ex-President Flight Lieutenant (RTD) Mr. Jerry John Rawlings who seems to also have a perchance for photography.
The next time we caught up Obama magic was in the Central Region of Ghana. The chiefs and people of Oguaa (known since colonial times as Cape Coast) were making their way to a meeting ground in golden splendor. A sizable crowd had also gathered in front of the Cape Coast Castle (a former slave fort and the point of no return for millions of Africans who were trafficked to the Americas and Caribbean in bondage).

At this point I realised that if I really wanted to see President Obama in the flesh, I could have camped out in Cape Coast with thousands of others.
The Obama family arrived by chopper for the tour of Castle and appeared to be in the company of Mrs Obama's mother (??)They were shown the castle by a tour guide as well as Honourable Fritz Baffour, a newly elected parliamentarian, former director of Ghana's National Museums and part-time actor. After leaving the Castle, President Obama gave a touching speech on the impact of the visit and then he disappeared! The TV commentator did not seem sure where the President and his family were. There was a rumour that Mrs. Obama was being enstooled as a Queen-mother but this was never confirmed. I saw on CNN this morning that it appears that Anderson Cooper was probably interviewing him in the castle during the time he disappeared from our screens. Anderson Cooper?! I love him! I did not even know he was in Ghana!

President Obama re-emerged and after pausing to tie his shoe-lace and a few waves they headed off to Accra. According to one newspaper President Obama ate kenkey (fermented maize/corn) while he was here. Quite an interesting choice for a Ghanaian dish. Although it is one of my favorites, I was once told by a British class-mate in grad school that he had tasted the most "God-awful rancid dish ever" while in Ghana - Alas it was kenkey! Never spoke to the guy again but I do wonder what Obama's feelings are about kenkey!

After Cape Coast, my eyes left the TV and I finally went off to do other things. The last time I caught President Obama was in a final rousing address outside Airforce One on the tarmac at the airport. The crowd seemed to be made up of mostly Americans. He and Mrs. Obama bid farewell, climbed the stairs of the plane hand in hand, turned around and gave us a lovely unforgettable final wave. *Sigh*

Well, President Obama has come and gone and we return to the humdrum of life in Accra. The Electricity Company of Ghana jolted us back to reality on Sunday by inexplicably shutting off our electricity from 8am to 6pm. Ain't that Africa for you and me.

Today's Daily Graphic: Fame has clearly gotten to our heads!

Obama's Visit: A View from Ghana

As night falls over Accra, President Obama and his family will land at Kotoka International Airport. I'm sure Ghanaians are praying for divine intervention (spear-headed by Pastor TB Joshua) to deal with this rain; it still has not stopped! I still think there is very little information for the general public as to where we are allowed to go. Can we line the streets outside the airport and wait for the Obama entourage to pass. If all the streets are cordoned off and cleared of people, won't Accra look like an inhabited ghost town to our visitors? Where can we get a glimpse of the man besides TV, La Polyclinic or Cape Coast? It is all still a mystery to me. Anyway, one of the best takes I have read on the impending visit is a piece by Ms. Elizabeth Ohene, a former minister in the erstwhile New Patriotic Party (NPP) administration and a former BBC journalist. Her article was featured on the BBC over the past weekend and is available on their web page. It is a witty, humorous and sardonic view of the impending Obama visit that encapsulates everything from envy from other African countries, Ghanaian euphoria and also Ghanaian partisan politics. What I found particularly informative were the comments made and the reactions to the piece from across Africa and the world. I hope the BBC will forgive me for blatantly lifting a few of these from their web-page.

DISCLAIMER: BBC, please do not take me to court over this. I live by the Beeb and have done for most of my life. I first started listening to the BBC with my Dad when I was 7 years old ...way back in the day when (the late) Mr. Chris Bickerton hosted Focus on Africa.

Anyway, here are *interesting* views from the BBC web page in reaction to Ms. Ohene's piece:

My Ghanaian friend, I am a Nigerian and don't envy Ghana even if President Obama and his disciples visit your country everyday. President Obama is just another American president looking after American interests. In this case, it is your newly acquired oil shores. Your comments justifies my views about Ghanaians. Let me add that Ghana is the same size as Lagos Nigeria if not smaller. Good luck with your thriving democracy and good governance. I am happy that you are basking on something that is already in Africa.
Simms, Umuahia, Nigeria

Obama's visit to Ghana is NOT in any way Humiliation to Nigeria or any other africa nations.....OBAMA is Not JESUS CHRIST simply a president who chosed and decided to visit Ghana and may decide to Visit Nigeria some day. He can not visit all Africa nations same day same moment, Ghana is down to inferiority complex that makes them to see themselves as Brazil of Africa When Nigeria had beaten the real Brazil in a major football competition.
marcel eze, abidjan

Aw pulezzzz!!! Whether Obama comes or not, Nigeria is still the giant of Africa. It is okay for Obama to encourage Ghana's democracy. In spite of our current woes we still have a profound influence across Africa. Imagine what happens when we work through our problems....the whole world will come to our door steps.
Ono Vu, Abuja-Nigeria

Yikes, a serious case of very sour grapes methinks! Anyway, I would recommend reading Ms. Ohene's article and all the comments lest I present my own slant on this.

Obama day has started out bright. I drove into work this morning with the sun in my heart and rain on my windscreen listening to the BBC. Our very own Ghanaian BBC journalist Komla Dumor was live from Accra with a very poignant piece about the impending visit. He made a heartfelt trip to Cape Coast Castle and the slave dungeons which has had me reflecting on the impact of the upcoming Cape Coast visit for Michelle Obama in particular. Mr. Dumor also touched on some stark realities surrounding the new Obama administration vis-a-vis Africa. There have been some unfulfilled campaign promises and real questions about more trade and less aid. My fellow blogger Pen Powder's posting this morning also encapsulates the real questions about economic partnerships to improve Africa after stripping away all the Obama-mania and hype.

Not all Ghanaians are gushing with joy about the visit. Just this morning on Kwaku Sakyi-Addo's Joy FM programme some people were asking about whether President Obama will apologise to the Ghanaian people for the (purported) US role in the over-throw of Dr. Kwame Nkrumah in 1966. Interesting question..somewhat logical but completely ludicrous at the same time! Anyway, have to get to work so I can go and bask in the Obama-Ghana glory later!