The Temporarily Relocating Procrastinator

One thing I will always regret is that that I took up blogging AFTER my trip to Gabon in 2008. After all, Gabon's beautiful green rolling hills, warm tropical environment and colourful people provide ample fodder for anyone's blog. As did the surreal research commune I was living in where at some point, I was convinced we were participants in some twisted reality television show being broadcast on German television. Moreover, the Gabonese culinary approach i.e. anything-that-moves-in-the-forest was *erm* fascinating. I admit  that  indeed, I did enjoy the little python I had.

That's me at the official Equator line in Gabon. Standing between the hemispheres

Anyway, I digress, for the next couple of months, I will be leaving the fair shores of Ghana for the Netherlands. Another regret I have is that I was unable to complete a piece on foot-soldiers before I left. Ghanaian political foot-soldiers  that is NOT Dutch ones. Speaking of Dutch soldiers did you hear they have pulled out of Afghanistan? Alas, I digress again. The foot-soldier post has proved challenging because  this group is probably the most dynamic and fluid aggregation on the Ghanaian political landscape today and thus very hard to pin-down and characterise. I can still complete that piece from the Netherlands but it does seem a little disingenuous blogging about Ghana from elsewhere. After all, I need to be surrounded by inspiration from the tropical sun, traffic, flavours and the wonderful glow of Ghana living. 

So what could one possibly blog about from Holland?

• Is it true that it is mainly Western foreign tourists that smoke marijuana in The Netherlands while the Dutch are largely uninterested?
• Is it 'Holland' or 'The Netherlands' anyway?
• Leave your bicycle unlocked and it WILL be stolen
• Why are Dutch people so tall?
• How long does it take a tulip to grow?
• Do people still wear clogs in the Netherlands?
• Dutch Politician Geert Wilders is popular among some and it is not only for his *shocking* blond hair

Okay, I'm being facetious. I'm sure I will find interesting things to blog about! In the meantime, I'm dreaming of Dutch pancakes already. *Hmmmm*

Delicious Holland Style Pancakes

Farewell to the King? : The Reported Demise of El Hadj Omar Bongo Ondimba

Source: Associated Press

On Sunday evening, news agencies worldwide were reporting that the man who held the dubious title of "Africa's longest serving leader" had finally met his demise. This coveted crown, once held by Mr. Kamuzu Banda of Malawi, was all set to be passed on to another leader such as Mr Muammar al-Gaddafi of Libya. Just when the world was coming to grips with the passing of the de facto King of Gabon, the Gabonese authorities refuted all death claims. According to them, Mr. Bongo is very much alive and is continuing his "holiday" in Spain. Alas, it appears that good people of Gabon are the only ones who actually believe that Omar Bongo is still with us. Wikipedia has already written him off and have updated their 'Omar Bongo' page stating his death as 7 June 2009.

Why am I so fascinated? Well, out of all the countries I have visited, my trip to Gabon last year was truly unforgettable. I was there for 2 months and during that time I failed to really understand the country. From the unspoiled beaches to the rich lush equatorial forests, it is still very hard to describe Gabon. A nation full of contradictions; extreme wealth coupled with extreme poverty. The entire nation is adorned with sign-boards with Mr. Bongo's picture, monuments celebrating him and a Presidential palace that makes the White House look like a quaint country club. The Gabonese people were equally fascinating. Customer service has a unique meaning in Gabon and a visit to Libreville is not recommended for someone looking for a budget vacation. Yet, Libreville has an undeniable vibrant pulse. I will never forget the beautiful Italian restaurant we ate in that was literally on water or the wonderfully paved streets. I spent most of my time in the provincial town of Lambaréné which has a strange 1950s colonial feel with great roads, bridges, rivers and fantastic lighting.

I'm certain that Mr. Bongo has left this world to join his long-departed contemporaries but I'm also sure that the Gabonese authorities will deny the news while they strategise how best to prevent the country falling apart like a house of cards. Will power continue to rest in the hands of the Bongo family and the ruling elite? Does the death of Mr. Bongo pave the way for real power to go to the people for the first time since 1967? The possibilities are infinite. In the meantime, we can always enjoy Gabonese rap courtesy of Eben Entertainment family.

Espoir (Hope) Ba'Ponga of Eben Entertainment

Survivor Gabon: Culinary Delights Part 2

What a crazy past couple of weeks it has been. Between the Ghana elections, post-election excitement and work, blogging has been on the back-burner. Anyway, I saw on google news yesterday that the American Television show Survivor Gabon had come to a close. I must admit that I'm quite the reality TV freak and love the whole Survivor concept. They basically stick a bunch of strangers into some remote area somewhere without basic essentials and to 'survive' they have to do various feats, form alliances, back-stab while living off wild animals and berries. Alas, there can only be 1 "survivor" and this year it was a 57 year old physics teacher. Each Survivor season starts off with contestants looking pretty good but by the end they have been transformed into hungry cave-people...it is all quite Lord of Flies' esque.

Anyway, I had the surreal experience of being in Gabon from June to August this year while they were filming Survivor in some remote part of the country. Gabon is indeed a beautiful and fascinating place. Unspoiled beaches, thick lush equatorial forest and an *interesting* approach to hospitality. I spent most of the time at the Albert Schweitzer Hospital in the small town of Lambarene.The most interesting part of the Gabonese adventure was the delicious cuisine. I learnt very quickly that one had to be a "surivivor" to navigate through the dining out experience. For one of our fancy official dinners we had lovely aromatic meal available. I asked what it was and was told it was "crocodile". *Yummy* ...alas, I politely declined. Some weeks later, after a hard day of work, we headed to a quaint restaurant on the banks of the Ogoue river. The menu was narrated by a waitress but luckily, we went with someone who spoke better French than the rest of us!

MENU

• Carpe: Bony fresh water fish similar to tilapia
• Antilope: Antelope but unfortunately I stopped eating meat in Dec '03 so that would have had to be a pass
  
• Crocodile: Croc again?
  
• Singe: Monkey...Say whaa????? A primate? I don't think so!
  
• Python: #$#%#$ For a moment I thought you said "snake"....oh... you did! Oops... @#$@#
  

I had my own rule of thumb for dining out in semi-rural Gabon; when in doubt, stick with carpe. In fact, I think I ate so much carpe that I could have sworn I was starting to sprout fins!







*Alas* in the end, I was not the sole survivor in the bushmeat avoidance club; I gave into the python and I must say it was really delicious.

African Python + My Dish of Cooked Python, rice and fried Cassava

To Wyclef or not to Wyclef: the 026 Zain Experience right here in Accra

It is offical: Wyclef Jean is performing in Accra courtesy of Zain; a new mobile phone company in Ghana clearly trying to make a grand entrance. At first I was a skeptic and a firm believer that this concert was not going to take place. After all, wasn't Michael Jackson set to perform a few years back? 'Ol Michael was a no-show but I hear he was beamed by satellite link right into the Accra Internationl Conference Centre...hence the skepticism.
Don't get me wrong. We do get big names down here in GH...After all Fat Joe and Sean Kingston performed earlier this year. Whoa! Sean Kingston, (I almost forgot) was another no-show. Apparently his mummy said he should not take yellow fever shots. I read somewhere that Master Kingston is being sued in a New York court by the concert organizers...is that true? I know Fat Joe was definately around since my boss boss sat near him on Delta Airlines back to the US or told us "Big Joe" was with him on the flight.
Ah yes, I do recall the big bruv quite enjoyed the Wayne Wonder + Kevin Lyttle concert some years back. Although he did admit that once Mr. Wonder started on a Forever Young cover, it was time to head for the door....A clear case of 2 hits between 2 artistes.
Anyway, I digress back to Wyclef.....I have been a fan of Wyclef, Lauryn Hill, Pras, the Fugees, Refugee Allstars etc. since The Score. It was actually in the first line-up of CDs I orderd in that too-good-to-be true Columbia house deal that many US college students fall prey to..."Buy 12 CDs for $0.99" I spent my entire time in college paying off the 12 CDs which ended up costing anything but $0.99!

Aside from the music, Wyclef is an icon in other ways. Right from the beginning, he has been a mouthpiece for the long-suffering Haitian immigrant in the US. Being Haitian was not always popular. When I was in college, one of my good friends who was Jamaican described her shock and horror when a Haitian woman asked her innocently if she was Haitian. "H--e---ll no!!!!" was her curt response. Wyclef and the 'Fugees made being Haitian cool. I remember seeing a news item on tv about Haitian-Americans kids in Boston who felt proud of their heritage for the very first time in their lives all because of the Fugees. My man Wyclef is also very active in humanitarian efforts in Haiti.

His first solo album the The Carnival is still a favorite in my collection. It was also obtained through the afore-mentionned longstanding bittersweet relationship with Columbia House. I still remain convinced
that everything Wyclef touches turns to gold. He has an uncanny ability to collaborate with the most unlikely people to produce masterpieces. He remastering Guantanamera with the late Cuban great Celia Cruz and that was a hit.
Or how about producing Carlos Santana and the Product G&B on Maria, Maria and then there is the unforgettable Hips Don't Lie with Shakira. I almost forgot the socially conscious Diallo with Youssou N'Dour. His latest album shows he is still has that popular appeal.
See how I can ramble and praise sing all about Wyclef...
Anyway, back to him and the 026 experience. Even though Wyclef has been my idol for a while....*alas* I'm having doubts about whether I should attend the concert because:

• Hustling with the whole Accra in an open air stadium in a mosquito-endemic country just does not seem too appealing
  
• Staying up beyond 3am is a struggle coz you know that Wyclef will only grace the stage after hours and hours of local artistes...
  
• Overtly corporate sponsored events just do not sit well with me...does this mean I have to have to have to get a 026 mobile line?
  

Apparently, it is not only Wyclef who is coming; there is Eve and Mario. Now, the only think I really know about Eve is that 'okay' TV series and it is not like she is coming for the acting. Mario?? Is that like Mario Winans who sang that song I Don't Wanna Know? That song that someone I REALLY would like to forget used to play in his car? Well, as I contemplate to go or not to go, I really would like to see evidence that Wyclef is in Ghana which may help me along with my decision. You never know, The 026 experience may mean beaming him out via satellite....did someone say Michael? Mmm...

How to do useless procrastination on the internet or at least how Abby does useless procrastination on the internet

The beauty of having access to the world wide web (CREDIT: I'd like to thank Mr. Albert Gore for this fine invention) at work is that you have access to ample amounts of procrastination right at your fingertips! This is a fact I know way too well. I'm sure the people monitoring the 'net use at work wonder why I do the things I do on the 'ol net...I just can't help myself!! Anyway, here are my top 5 favorite internet sites:


1. www.google.com. Can you remember a life before google? When I first interneted back in 1996, there was netscape navigator and then came yahoo which was like the best thing since fried plantain. Then suddenly there was Google... It is so fabulous that you can be grammatically correct by saying you are "googling someone" but can you "yahoo someone"? Yes and boy do I google up a storm...From the guy I had a crush on in primary school (now what was that surname again?) to ...for vanity's sake...myself....well, unfortunately for moi some illustrious Ghanaian lady has the same first and last name as me so you will only find me on google search page number 4…and in reference to drugs..No, no, no, it is honestly not what you think. I'm being thanked as a hardworking research assistant in another life in drug addiction research in mid-town Manhattan..Isn't it strange how you grow up with a supposedly strange name that everybody butchers and mis-prounces when you are a kid.Then when you move to your home country in your mid-twenties everybody there is surprised how you have such a common name combination! Of course they first insist you must be a foreigner who has decided to take up a local name..since you supposedly look East or Southern African...Ahhh...misunderstood everywhere!

2. www.bbc.co.uk. My source for the news…Even though sometimes I wonder why...After all, do I not spend all day listening to the beeb on the radio? For some reason I only seem to believe news if it from the beeb...Used to check the infamous ghanaweb.com for news but then realised it was more opinions and speculation than actual news..
I must admit that the ‘ol beeb is sometimes slow to update news and has a thinly veiled disdain for Robert Mugabe which sometimes worries my quest for news impartiality…(DISCLAIMER: Abby has not been a fan of Sir Bob since the late 90s ...I beg, fire those salvos elsewhere!! If you are a fan of Sir Bob please endeavour to find a Zimbabwean and ask them how things are in their country before harping on about the evil colonialists trying to bring down a true African revolutionary). Even though I believe the beeb, I'm still waiting for the follow-up on a story they broke saying that the Kenyan government had armed Kikuyu militia at the state house which sparked the so called "post-election violence" ....don't you love media-derived catch-phrases like that?! Was this story clarified when I was stuck in the deepest equatorial forests of central africa for 2 unforgettable months recently? Must've been coz not a single beeb reporter has uttered a peep about it.

3. www.imdb.com : the internet movie database…what can I say I’m a movie freak...being a filmfanatic comes with being a procrastinator....Although being in Ghana my movie intake has lessened in recent years due to restrictions on variety. But in my heydey I watched anything and everything. The good...the very very bad and the plain ugly. I promise not to be smug with my movie knowledge so I will end here. I welcome challenges..thought! I have this scary genetic affliction where I retain a whole bunch of useless knowledge and facts...that's why I get along with my big bruv so well...we speak the same language and most of Ghana think we are mad.
Finding the 6 degrees of separation that tie together all BBC productions is my latest fascination. I just found amazing links in my head between Ang Lee's Sense and Sensibility and Love Actually...Emma Thompson's husband at the end of Sense and Sensibility (Hugh Grant) was her brother in Love Actually while her husband in Love Actually (Alan Rickman) was her brother-in- law at the end of Sense and Sensibiltiy...Her real-life husband (Greg Wise) was her would be brother-in-law in Sense and Sensibility while her real-life brother-in-law (don't know his name) became her brother-in-law at the end of Sense and Sensibility...do you need any more proof that I am crazy? Who cares about these facts anyway?

4. www.wikipedia.com: even if you can’t trust everything they say. In fact some of the things that pass for facts are plain scary! They really have to improve from their African stubs..You can imagine how great wikipedia is for a retainer of useless information like myself. I can check up everything from Southern African cuisine to a list of Kings of Asante Empire..When you are travelling to a new place you can always wiki it in advance.



5. www.facebook.com: First it was hi5 but that became snooze-worthy…For some reason, the 'ol buddies in the US of A had never heard of hi5...Now on facebook keeping up with friends and family has never been this fun!….provides excellent procrastination opportunities for a champion procrastinator such as myself…I recently found my best friend from primary school who was friends with someone else from our class who happened to be friends with my arch-nemesis from secondary school. Only Facebook can do that. Very soon “to facebook” will be a new verb in the dictionary alongside "to google", mark my words!