Return of the Prodigal Gardener

We had an unexpected visitor one Saturday morning a few months ago. After a mysterious 3-month absence our gardener nonchalantly strolled into the yard with a big metal cross around his neck. The whole household was excited to see him and we welcomed him with breakfast. Of course the big question on my mind was "Where the @#$@#$ has he been?" It later emerged that he has been staying in a prayer camp in the Akwapim mountains casting out his demons... literally. Although our gardener seems like a quiet, polite young man apparently he has been wrought with 'spiritual' problems for a while. 

Prayer camps offering 'treatment' for mental health issues are not a new thing in Ghana. Around May this year, the BBC's West Africa correspondent Will Ross did a documentary on the phenomenon in Ghana. What he found was  sad, appalling and down-right embarrassing. He visited a prayer camp where mentally-ill individuals were chained for hours. According to the BBC report:

"With only four practising psychiatrists in the country and a stigma attached to mental illness, doctors say the only way to cope with the workload is to work with the Church-run camps."

Ironically, there are most probably more Ghanaian psychiatrists in just one zip-code in Manhattan than there are in the whole of Ghana! A snippet of Will Ross's documentary can be seen here:

Scene from the BBC Documentary on Prayer Camps in Ghana 

BTW; Where is BBC reporter Will Ross these days? It appears he has relocated to Nairobi  but someone forget to tell us!

Oddly-enough, my family and I are no strangers to gardeners with mental health issues. Back in Southern Africa, we had a  gardener who never showed up for work one day. Days turned into weeks which eventually turned into years. One sunny day 2 years later, our gardener returned wearing the green uniform of a  mental institution close to our house proclaiming  loudly that he had come "to reap what he had sown". While my big sister and I stood perplexed, he headed straight for the garden and got to work!  Being the immature 10 year old, I immediately took off and left home leaving my 17 year old sister to deal with the erratically behaving gardener down in the garden.  Luckily she made a couple of calls and he was picked up by some nice people who took him back to the mental institution from where he had made a dramatic escape that morning. Understandably, it took my sister sometime to forgive me for that one!

 

Flash-forward to Ghana; Our gardener now lives at the prayer camp full-time. He is 'receiving treatment' and comes down to pay us a visit once every month. Personally, he does not strike me as having any mental problems at all but has been convinced by others that he does. I bet he tends the prayer camp gardens pretty darn well....hmmmm.

Of Nollywood Premieres, Lounges and Chantilly Cream

I had a rare fun-filled weekend. On my previous post I rambled on about the spending time with Southern African Ghanaian (SAG) friends and indeed it came to pass. My friend S. is quite the Nigerian film (i.e. Nollywood) fan and convinced me to go to the much advertised premiere of the film State of the Heart starring the veteran Nollywood actors Richard Mofe-Damijo and Stella Damasus. The premiere was set to start at 7pm on Friday night and S. was worried that we were extremely late when we left my house at 6:40pm. Alas, she had forgotten this premiere was in Ghana and not Switzerland! We got to the National Theatre just after 7pm and were bemused to find a half-empty auditorium and a hollywood (as opposed to Nollywoood) film showing up on the screen. For the next hour and half we were subjected to a violent R-rated film without a single explanation from the event organisers. Eventually, the R-rated film went off and we were treated to Heroes Season 2, episode 1. Were these people for real?
At exactly 8:45pm, a popular radio DJ/ TV host Wolf took the stage. I actually felt really bad for the Wolf-man. The audience were understandably irate and baying for blood so gave him a hard time . He introduced some young hip-life artistes who lip-synched so beautifully to one of their tracks. Suddenly, the crowd erupted with cheers as Richard Mofe-Damijo, Stella Damasus and Segun Arinze made their extremely late grand entrance. Some photo-ops ensued and the angry crowd were at last appeased as we settled into the film. State of the Heart was a tad insipid, a tad predictable but I must say the acting was pretty good . After the film there were more photo-ops and apparently an after-party at Boomerang night-club. S. and I hurried away to look for a relaxing lounge to have a drink. Alas, I had left the directions to Twist at home so we made our way to Monsoon in Osu. The vibe was cool but the music was a little too loud for conversation. After we left Monsoon we contemplated a little dancing at Tantra before admitting the truth: it was 2am and we were darn tired! The next day S. and I met up with N. and her brother Y; my SAG childhood friends from Botswana. I had not seen Y. since 1996 and that was in Cape Town South Africa. We had some drinks at Frankie's Salad Lounge in Osu. This was my first time at "The Lounge" but had read about it from a posting by a fellow Ghana blogger Yngvild. The atmosphere was divinely mellow and we had a refreshingly intellectual conversation. It was probably one of the deepest conversations I have had in months! Fresh perspectives always make you realise how much you have become absorbed into any system.
Alas* S. departed for the US on Sunday morning leaving me a little sad. A pick-me-up came by the evening time which was well-spent knocking back glasses of wine with the big sis, big bruv, the sis-in-law and the newbie nephew Junior. Well, Junior abstained from the wine-drinking. The venue was the African Regent hotel with its "afropolitan" appeal and great atmosphere. Their apple pie and chantilly cream (fancy way of saying apple pie and vanilla ice-cream) is sinfully delicious.

In the end I did not see the cool "cousins". Apparently they found themselves at Rhapsody's on Friday night. Hopefully they dodged the cover! Alas, all good things must come to an end as family and friends leave the fair shores of Ghana until the next holiday season...*sigh* Happy Holidays everyone!

Invasion of the Cross-Cultural Ghanaians

Christmas is always a fascinating time of the year in Ghana. Mainly because a lot of the Ghanaian people resident outside of our fair nation tend to come down to spend time with friends and family.
There are the Londoners, New Yorkers, Canadians all of whom are Ghanaian. Occassionally there are the German burghers, Italian burghers, Amsterdam burghers...all illustrious countrymen and women living in that fabled place called "abroad". You can always tell the Ghanaians coming in from "abroad" at this time of the year. As the plane touches down at Kotoka International Airport, they emerge usually clad in a winter jacket and can be often heard lamenting about the shocking levels of heat being emitted by the Ghanaian motherland.
However, there is a small but undocumented breed of Ghanaians who are often overlooked; they are the Southern African Ghanaians (SAGs). SAGs are individuals who have spent most of their lives outside of Ghana living specifically in various countries in Southern Africa. You would be surprised at how many SAGs there are out there. Some grew up in South Africa, Zimbabwe, Botswana, some in Namibia, others were born in Lesotho or even Swaziland. This group remains widely unknown in Ghana because they tend to either live in Southern African or migrate to the US or Europe completely bypassing Ghana! These are my peoples! Well, this particular end of the year I'm excited because suddenly, it seems we' re invading Ghana en masse.

It all started with my big sis. announcing last week that she would be coming into Accra from South Africa for some high-brow work meetings. On her flight, she found she was travelling with Uncle B and two of his sons. Uncle B. was my late Dad's really good friend from the days when bell-bottoms and platform shoes were a la mode. My big sis, big bruv and I all grew up together in Southern Africa with Uncle B's kids who we dubbed "our cousins in Lesotho". Unfortunately, I had not seen them since afros were still in fashion back in 1988. Although Uncle B.'s sons are well into their 30s, this was actually their first visit to Ghana! So last night was the surreal reunion. Uncle B. and my mum shared embarrassing childhood tales about who used to cry the most. In the meantime, I admired my cousins' heavily tattooed bodies and their fascinating "Suuth Eferican" accents. One of the cousins had some Adinkra symbols (similar to the picture above) tattooed into his forearm. At some point the big sis declared that there was not much to do in the fair city of Accra. Of course, at that point I slipped into defender of my city mode and alas, the dreadful onus is now on me to prove just how hip Accra is....*Yikes*

I'm currently racking my brain and compiling a list of cool places to hang out at that may impress these Johannesburg-esque hip types...*Alas* the list is looking pretty sparse: Honeysuckle, Monsoon, Aphrodisiac, Bywells, Tribes, Rhapsody's, ...oh dear I could not possibly take'em to Accra Mall could I?!

The SAG invasion continues; my buddy S. is also in town from the US. She is Ghanaian but grew up in Sierra Leone and we lived very close to each other in Swaziland for some years. We often lament that our Southern African language skills should really not be this appalling..How come my big sis could win any argument in Zulu or Setswana when I can barely remember how to say hello....*sigh*. S. has the most Ghanaian credibility. After all, she went to school and university here.

Just when I was realising that we could really start a small army of SAG invaders. My friend N. calls to say she is in town! She grew up in the US and Botswana and we both went to college very close to each other in Western Massachusetts. Her big brother Y. is another Christmas returnee based in South Africa. So forget Christmas Election blues, my peoples are here! Now, back to entertainment ideas....anyone got any? Even one? Half an idea would do!

Of Colds, Night-callers and 15 seconds of Fame!

Without a doubt, last week was difficult but full of learning experiences. First of all, I was down with a pesky cold and then Wednesday night there was a medical emergency at midnight and me feverishly driving the young lady who helps us around the house to a local hospital.

Thursday night was filled with even more drama with a 3am house-call by 3 members (in good standing) of the MWTAG (Machete Wielding Thieves Association of Ghana) who stopped by to unload us of our mobile phones. The experience was so harrowing that I can only make light of it. Friday was spent shuttling and providing monetary “breakfast” to trusty law enforcement officers just to get them to do that thing called their job.

The week ended well, I got props from Mr. Emmanuel Bensah in his Science/technology column in the Sunday World Newspaper. Thank you Emmanuel! My lovely national service person who picked up the newspaper for me said I shouldn't be too excited because my procrastinatory ways have been exposed in print. The young man should not worry since no names were given! The big bruv was so impressed that after the reading the article he said:

"Do you want me to have a blog?, I can have a blog, I can blog too!"

The big sis sent her props from South Africa. The whole family has checked out the blog. Would you believe my 11 and 14 year old nieces are internet aces and are on facebook?

So, I have decided to chronicle the lessons I learnt over the past week. From the Bradley Effect, YouTubing in government hospitals to adventures in the Volta River Authority heartland. Stay tuned!

Life on Mars: Flashbacks to 1973 and endless possibilities

2 years ago my big bruv brought home a BBC TV series called “Life on Mars”. Since I had never heard of it, I stared at it for a couple of days and eventually forced myself to watch it out of boredom.

I stayed up all night watching episode after episode…mesmerized…Eventually I got the next season off Amazon.

I hear ABC has a remake lined up for an American audience….talk about ruining a good show!

Anyway, back to Life on Mars. I just could not get over the concept: in 2006 a policeman in Manchester (Sam Tyler) gets hit by a car and wakes up in Manchester in 1973, is he in a coma? has he travelled back in time? He is completely clueless and so are we.

Poor Sam is stuck in a 1973 nightmare without the internet, mobile phones or computers. While everyone thinks he is odd, he struggles to get home to the real world (2006) and in the meantime has to put up with police colleagues who are sexist, racist and smoke too much.The best character on the show is Sam's whiskey swigging wise-cracking boss from hell Gene Hunt: an expert in making off colour sexist comments, planting evidence, carrying out grievous bodily harm and taking bribes.. It is all a paranormal experience and Sam Tyler eventually meets his mum and the dad he never knew and they are both younger than him….The show is half fantasy half mystery with a little bit of police work that all seems to be related to Sam’s life in 2006 or to his past…

I don’t think I would have liked Britain in the 1970s. I think it would have been a depressing place with few foreigners and rife unemployment....After all, Maggie Thatcher was able to become Prime Minister back in 1979.

I think I was fascinated by the show because the idea of going back to Ghana in 1973 intrigued me. Back in 1973, we were hit by turmoil, we had just had another military coup and had just entered what is now considered the darkest era in Ghana's history. On the other hand, bell-bottoms, afros and platform shoes (“guarantees) were a la mode. I was not born yet and neither was my big bruv…My big sis was 3 years old and my parents decided to move to Lesotho in Southern African.

So if I had a chance to go back to 1973 what would I do?

1. Warn Ghanaians to keep the population hovering around 9million so we could all be REAL cedi millionaires
2. Invent the laptop or scout the world for Steve Jobs and Bill Gates to marry
3. Be an environmental campaigner and warn against the thinning ozone layer
4. Warn people about the coming plague in the form of HIV
5. Hang out with my parents
   

Time travel offers so many possibilities. There are so many paths we can take in life and given the chance to do it all over again, which way would we choose?…if we choose a path opposite to what we chose the first time around, would that change our entire destiny and the course of our lives? Kind of reminds me of the Butterfly Effect.

Butterfly effect (noun): the phenomenon whereby a small change at one place in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere, e.g., a butterfly flapping its wings in Rio de Janeiro might change the weather in Chicago

wordnet.com

That's where the endless possibilities lie. If my parents had never gone to Southern Africa, I would probably be a completely different person. I would have never had the life I did, the friends I have as well as the experiences that make me...me! It is amazing how life experiences actually shape your destiny and open or close possibilities.