Third World Living: Mesmerized by Road Works

I have always hated the expression the "Third World" . It seems so condescending and patronizing yet it has an undeniable ring of truth to it. We do things differently down here and not necessarily in a good way! Anyway, Saturday morning brought much joy to my neighbourhood. The sound of loud machinery and the smell of tar signaled the start of road work on our street and the adjoining road. I should explain that we have had a house in our 'hood for over 20 years and have endured all the dust, dirt and grime that comes from living close to an un-tarred road. We have even put up with the endless fake/pretense moves to tar our roads. I cannot even begin to count the number of times some truck has arrived under the cover of darkness around 3am to dump mounds of sand on the street as part of a scheduled job that never actually happens. Eventually, a contractor will run out of money or something else will come up and the road work will be postponed.The strange thing is that most of the roads in the wider 'hood are tarred! Note: I'm ignoring the scary potholes -the -size-of-moon-craters-issue because that is a whole different topic.

So when real road tarring started on Saturday morning, it was hardly surprising to find people in our 'hood had pulled up chairs by the roadside and were eagerly taking in all the action. I myself watched completely mesmerized and in awe for a whole 10 minutes without moving. I was half-expecting street hawkers to show up selling plantain chips and cokes to the gathered crowd. By the way, how is it that hawkers always know where the traffic jams are all over Accra? That is something that has always baffled me. Back to the road...while we watched, my mother pointed out with amusement that it was like we were all transported to the pre-independent Gold Coast where the inhabitants of a remote community had gathered to see a tarred road for the first time in their lives. Yes, it was actually that exciting!

Our freshly-tarred adjoining road. So beautiful to walk on.

But...it was all too good to be true. My new-road joy has already turned sour. Although our adjacent road is complete and has already turned into a speed demon's Grand Prix highway (or more like Grand Pricks highway), our actual street has been left abandoned. Apparently the contractor has run out of supplies. The road is half-tarred, half-complete and not a single peep about when work will continue. Now ain't that Third World living for ya?!

This is not a shadow. This is the Yin-Yang pattern that is now our street!

When Fears come true: Car Trouble at Midnight

I think I watch too many television series involving psychopaths, serial killers, ghouls and demons. Two of my favorites series are Criminal Minds which revolves around a group of FBI profilers chasing the criminally insane while the other is Supernatural which has two brothers driving across the US in search of really scary supernatural forces. Interestingly, these two series have both featured similar scenarios where a woman is driving along an abandoned, isolated, rural road deep in the night. As she drives along, she gets a flat tire. The distraught lady tries her phone and for some reason it is always out of network coverage area. She is always forced to get out of the car and attempt to change the tire when either:

1. A hooded person emerges from the darkness with a long butcher knife
2. A strange car pulls up and offers help and that's the last time the lady is seen alive

So as I headed home alone last Friday around midnight, you can imagine my shock and horror when my car engine stalled after I hit a speed bump. It all happened when I was making the steep descent outside Can-West heading towards the railway line that divides Airport Residential area and Dzorwulu. I managed to reach the bottom of the hill and parked in the darkness on one side of the road. I started the car again and it would not spark! So I reached for my phone and realised that I deserved the 'Genius of Year award' because the whole day I had had silly conversations on both my mobile phones and completely run all my credit down. *Yikes*

I thought about leaving my car there overnight...the only problem being that by the next morning I would have been likely to find that my car had proved useful for anyone looking for free (well-worn) tires, a cellotaped-down dodgy car radio and a battery.

As I sat in the darkness contemplating my next move, a dark-coloured pick-up pulled to a stop in front of me. The images of my car being stripped down were rapidly replaced with picture of a dimly-lit room where my body parts were being cut into small parts and being separated into plastic bags to be sold for juju charms. Out of the car emerged a nice-looking man dressed all in white. White like an angel but I was still very suspicious. For this narrative we will call him 'Man X'. Man X asked politely if I needed help and I nodded desperately as my adrenaline levels started to rise. He tried my car engine and alas, it was very much still dead. He went over to get a rock to hold something steady but me being a little paranoid imagined the rock being the blunt instrument that was about to knock me out cold. So I moved over to stand by the roadside making a call with shaky hands as some woman on the line told me "You have no call credit!"

Man X went over to his truck and took out a short rope...At that point paranoia really took over and I found myself hailing down a passing taxi. The driver stopped and I realised what a ridiculous thing I was doing especially since Man X was trying to help me so waved him on. In the end, my good samaritan concluded that the only way to deal with the predicament was to tow me home. However...
Problem number 1: The rope he had (which was not to tie me up) was too short and not standard issue for towing.
Problem number 2: The Ghana Police Service night patrols may also agree that it was illegal to be towing a car with such a rope and would as we say in Ghana "worry us"

Man X tied up the cars and we set off...all I had to do was watch the brakes and steer...Problem Number 1 was okay and it was all working pretty out well when Problem number 2 set in. Very close to my home in Dzorwulu, Ghana Police Service officers were hot on our heels in full pursuit. They flagged us down full of glee. Man X got out of his truck and explained the scenario and informed the officers that he did not even know me. I confirmed that this was the first time I had set eyes on him and that he had actually saved me from a potentially dodgy situation.

The police were not having it. They said I should have called a tow truck. "A tow Wha??? At that time of the night??" I thought "Where the @#$#@%$@ is that number anyway?" After extensively searching my car, they told me that it was an offense so what was I going to do?...

In the end, the nice officers understood..Well, the understanding came after I gave them a small token for a soft drink. They allowed me to be towed home and were helpful enough to follow us from behind for the rest of the way. I just hope mini-buses brim full of armed robbers were not whizzing by as they provided an escort for me home.

It was only when I got home that I found out Man X's name. His rope was ruined but he refused to take any money to replace it., Last Friday night, this good samaritan really restored my faith in the goodness of Ghanaians. The most annoying part of the whole story was that after Man X had left, I started the car and it sparked without a problem! I wish I had tried the car earlier...before we ran into the cops!

President Obama is Coming to Town: Fears and Anticipation

Ghana is clearly the place to be. We are soo popular that we got a couple of honourable mentions at the memorial service for the late Michael Jackson. Also, in just 2 days time a certain President of the world and his family will be landing at Kotoka International Airport for their first official visit to so-called Black Africa. A friend of mine (a half-Tanzanian/half-Kenyan guy) says Kenyans are still perplexed that President Obama chose Ghana over the land of his father. *Sigh*, it was all for good reasons.Our infrastructure may pale compared to Kenya, we lack the vibrant Nairobi feel and the flaming trees of Thika but we do know how to do a mean democratic election ! So how is our fair nation preparing for the historic/historical visit? I actually do not really have a clue. My route to work is through the magical Achimota forest so I avoid town completely.

I did pick up a newspaper or two today and found that 10,000 police officers were being deployed for the occasion. *Yikes* Lets hope all the armed robbers stay in their homes glued to their (stolen) TV sets watching Obama magic light up Ghana with the rest of us. Apparently the Obama family will be put up in the Holiday Inn very close to the airport. *Interesting* There are a couple of things that are worrying me about the Obama visit.


1. Will this @#$@ rain ever let up? We love rain here in Africa. In fact didn't that 1980s band Toto once do a song that went "I Bless the Rains down in Africa"? #$%#$ Toto. The rain is beginning to cause serious havoc. There is flooding everywhere, loss of life, damage to property, damage to roads and of course cars in ditches. This morning I happen to come across a newly imported Range Rover stuck in a ditch as I drove through the aforementionned magical Achimota Forest. Rain, rain please go away, come back when the Obamas have gone away.


2. Where's my fuel at?: We are experiencing some bizarre petrol shortage over in the good 'ol African Beacon of hope. I was tipped off on Monday and so I rushed to fill my tank. Yesterday, others in search of fuel were not so lucky. The queues at the filling-stations are giving Accra a war-torn feel. Is this hoarding or an actual shortage? Will the Obama family catch glimpses of these queues? Will there be enough petrol to transport the Obama entourage around our fair nation?!


3. Partisan-isation of the Obama Visit: According to one (opposition-leaning) newspaper today , ex-President Kufuor has not received any invitation to join in the Obama revelry. My fears have been confirmed. The partisan politics that divide (and entertain) our nation may come to play in this historic/historical visit. Why am I not surprised? The opposition hosted President George Bush just last year and the incumbent government have been basking in the sunshine of this upcoming visit ever since it was announced. After all, there are clear parallels between the way both presidents came to power. Senator Obama, the clear under-dog in the 2008 US elections came to power spreading a message of "Change" while Professor Mills the clear under-dog in the 2008 Ghana elections came to power spreading a message of "Change ". However, credit has to be given to both ex-President Kufuor and ex-President Rawlings since they both facilitated the Ghanaian democratic dream in their various ways.

Fears aside, I can't wait for Air-Force One to land.

Have you read your Highway Code lately?

An American friend of mine who works for the international roady safety division of the US Department of transportation recently remarked on facebook that in Africa we did not need an emphasis on road safety due to our lack of roads. I think he needs to check this picture out!
I was literally boxed in by my fellow considerate drivers on a rainy Accra morning last week.
These guys obviously learnt driving on the job..