What's in a Name......Change

Daniel and Abena aged 2 years: Daniel's family lived next door to us in Swaziland from when I was 2 years. Yes, I know, earring-free I looked like a little boy. The name 'Abena' would instantly send out alarm bells that I was a girl....well, only alarm bells that could be understood in Ghana!

When my big brother Kwabena and I were 12 and 10, we presented a petition to our parents. We had grown tired of our names being mispronounced and butchered all over Southern Africa. We were weary of being different and wanted some English names. I think I had chosen something like Annabelle or Amber. My father laughed for minutes on end and finally the abrupt response came: "No". I was peeved and upset at the time. Now I'm just peeved and upset with myself for coming up with such a ridiculous idea. I love my name. It has always been unique. I have learnt to embrace this unique-ness and suffered through:

• Ahhhhh-Ben--Naaaaahhh in Southern Africa,
• Ah-Beeeee-Naa in America and
• Ap--Nah in the Netherlands.

I will not lie. I myself have not been the best pronouncer of my own name!

Then I moved to Ghana years ago and suddenly my name was no longer unique. It was so common that it raised more curious questions:

• "Your name is Abena???? Please, what is your other name, your Christian name"
• "Your name is Abena??? You have really tried. You have come to our country and have adopted one of our local names to fit in"

It did not help that just days before my flight to Ghana, I stood in front of a mirror with a large pair of scissors in my friend Nabs' apartment and did something completely spontaneous. I chopped off all my hair and left myself with a short-cropped hair-cut any Ghanaian Senior Secondary School girl would have been proud of. Of course what I did not realise then was that I was about to be constantly mistaken for a Senior Secondary School girl despite the fact that I was well into my 20s!

If it was not an SSS girl, I was presumed to be visiting Ghana from the US, East Africa or Southern Africa. In those days, natural hair for females 20 years + was quite rare. Eventually I conformed. With time, any traces of an American accent disappeared. My hair grew, it was re-processed and I joined the ranks of the 'weavealicious' to borrow from fellow blogger Sankofa.
Fast forward to the present. Living in Ghana with a name like Abena also comes with some level of familiarity that can be quite annoying. Imagine you go to the bank and are asked to wait and as soon as you are called it is likely to be:

"Abena, please come to Teller 2"

If my name was something like Janet Mensah. I'm pretty sure that it would automatically be:

"Ms. Mensah, please come to Teller 2".

My brother finds that too. At banks, instead of Mr. So and So he is addressed as:

"Kwabena" , "Kobby" or even more inappropriately "Charle, Kob-Beeeeee".

Of course things are even more interesting for Kwabena since his 1 year old son was also born on a Tuesday. Young Kwabena and his dad Kwabena also share the same middle name so sometimes my family and I get confused about who exactly we are referring to.

Kwabena and Kwabena when Kwabena was 1 month old. Hopefully neither Kwabena (nor Kwabena) will kill me for putting this on my blog.

Having a name that is easy to remember like Abena has also gotten me into some sticky situations. I have met random people in various parts of Ghana for work or in some other random capacity. All they need is the first name, my place of work and they can be sitting on the dusty couch in our office in no time!

When I first started blogging from Ghana, the name Abena was also pretty unique in the blogosphere. Now suddenly there are so many Abenas that I myself get confused: Did I just post that comment? Sounds like me!

I am also very curious... Where are all the Akuas, Amas, Afuas, Adwoas and Yaas in the blogosphere? Is it because I'm more aware of other Abenas? Is it perhaps that us Tuesday-borns are just uniquely creative? Hehehehe!

So finally, I have come to terms with the fact that if I remain as just Abena I am no longer unique. I have had to accept that change is inevitable. Enter Abena Serwaa. Well, until another Abena Serwaa comes along!

Daniel and Abena Serwaa 20++ years later: Please don't tell me I still look like a boy in this picture!

PS: My Cameroonian friend tells me Abena or Abendo is a popular male name in Yaoundé. YIKES. Also, a Danish company markets a brand of adult diapers under the name Abena. Double YIKES!

Vindication for the Coffee Addict!

Delicious Cuban Coffee: Black and Yummy just the way I like it

My big brother texted me some good news that is bound to leave my mother un-amused: researchers at the University of South Florida have found that 5 cups of coffee a day could reverse memory problems associated with Alzheimer's Disease! Anyone who knows me in real-life will know that I have an unhealthy relationship with coffee and most caffeine-enriched products. So you can imagine my delight at the news. For years I have been addicted to coffee and have been lectured on how bad it is for me! Indeed, I have worked in the field of addiction before and I know that dependency on anything can never be a good thing but coffee has always been my Achilles' heel. So today I feel some satisfaction and some vindication. Coffee is actually not all bad! So if you have noticed my lost trains of thought, inexplicable memory losses, erratic behaviour in real life, it is probably not due to the coffee! Okay, I should also point out that the Florida research findings have only been done in mice and human trials are yet to start.

Being the nerd that I am, I decided to take a cursory look through the scientific literature to explore the benefits of my favorite beverage. At the risk of inducing anyone reading this into a boredom-induced coma, I will be brief. Here are some examples of studies I found:

• Habitual coffee consumption is associated with a reduced risk of developping Type 2 diabetes
• High Coffee intake is associated with a protective effect against hypertension, mainly in women

Before my fellow coffee-addicts start doing cart-wheels of joy, I should add that coffee is not good for pregnant women and has been associated with cardiovascular disease. Coffee also may cause you to have shaky hands and stain your teeth. So as my mother just reminded me (of course I called her to gloat!), it is a tricky balance. Anyway, my people, have to run and find a kettle; there is some coffee with my name on it to enjoy!

Of Nollywood Premieres, Lounges and Chantilly Cream

I had a rare fun-filled weekend. On my previous post I rambled on about the spending time with Southern African Ghanaian (SAG) friends and indeed it came to pass. My friend S. is quite the Nigerian film (i.e. Nollywood) fan and convinced me to go to the much advertised premiere of the film State of the Heart starring the veteran Nollywood actors Richard Mofe-Damijo and Stella Damasus. The premiere was set to start at 7pm on Friday night and S. was worried that we were extremely late when we left my house at 6:40pm. Alas, she had forgotten this premiere was in Ghana and not Switzerland! We got to the National Theatre just after 7pm and were bemused to find a half-empty auditorium and a hollywood (as opposed to Nollywoood) film showing up on the screen. For the next hour and half we were subjected to a violent R-rated film without a single explanation from the event organisers. Eventually, the R-rated film went off and we were treated to Heroes Season 2, episode 1. Were these people for real?
At exactly 8:45pm, a popular radio DJ/ TV host Wolf took the stage. I actually felt really bad for the Wolf-man. The audience were understandably irate and baying for blood so gave him a hard time . He introduced some young hip-life artistes who lip-synched so beautifully to one of their tracks. Suddenly, the crowd erupted with cheers as Richard Mofe-Damijo, Stella Damasus and Segun Arinze made their extremely late grand entrance. Some photo-ops ensued and the angry crowd were at last appeased as we settled into the film. State of the Heart was a tad insipid, a tad predictable but I must say the acting was pretty good . After the film there were more photo-ops and apparently an after-party at Boomerang night-club. S. and I hurried away to look for a relaxing lounge to have a drink. Alas, I had left the directions to Twist at home so we made our way to Monsoon in Osu. The vibe was cool but the music was a little too loud for conversation. After we left Monsoon we contemplated a little dancing at Tantra before admitting the truth: it was 2am and we were darn tired! The next day S. and I met up with N. and her brother Y; my SAG childhood friends from Botswana. I had not seen Y. since 1996 and that was in Cape Town South Africa. We had some drinks at Frankie's Salad Lounge in Osu. This was my first time at "The Lounge" but had read about it from a posting by a fellow Ghana blogger Yngvild. The atmosphere was divinely mellow and we had a refreshingly intellectual conversation. It was probably one of the deepest conversations I have had in months! Fresh perspectives always make you realise how much you have become absorbed into any system.
Alas* S. departed for the US on Sunday morning leaving me a little sad. A pick-me-up came by the evening time which was well-spent knocking back glasses of wine with the big sis, big bruv, the sis-in-law and the newbie nephew Junior. Well, Junior abstained from the wine-drinking. The venue was the African Regent hotel with its "afropolitan" appeal and great atmosphere. Their apple pie and chantilly cream (fancy way of saying apple pie and vanilla ice-cream) is sinfully delicious.

In the end I did not see the cool "cousins". Apparently they found themselves at Rhapsody's on Friday night. Hopefully they dodged the cover! Alas, all good things must come to an end as family and friends leave the fair shores of Ghana until the next holiday season...*sigh* Happy Holidays everyone!

To Wyclef or not to Wyclef: the 026 Zain Experience right here in Accra

It is offical: Wyclef Jean is performing in Accra courtesy of Zain; a new mobile phone company in Ghana clearly trying to make a grand entrance. At first I was a skeptic and a firm believer that this concert was not going to take place. After all, wasn't Michael Jackson set to perform a few years back? 'Ol Michael was a no-show but I hear he was beamed by satellite link right into the Accra Internationl Conference Centre...hence the skepticism.
Don't get me wrong. We do get big names down here in GH...After all Fat Joe and Sean Kingston performed earlier this year. Whoa! Sean Kingston, (I almost forgot) was another no-show. Apparently his mummy said he should not take yellow fever shots. I read somewhere that Master Kingston is being sued in a New York court by the concert organizers...is that true? I know Fat Joe was definately around since my boss boss sat near him on Delta Airlines back to the US or told us "Big Joe" was with him on the flight.
Ah yes, I do recall the big bruv quite enjoyed the Wayne Wonder + Kevin Lyttle concert some years back. Although he did admit that once Mr. Wonder started on a Forever Young cover, it was time to head for the door....A clear case of 2 hits between 2 artistes.
Anyway, I digress back to Wyclef.....I have been a fan of Wyclef, Lauryn Hill, Pras, the Fugees, Refugee Allstars etc. since The Score. It was actually in the first line-up of CDs I orderd in that too-good-to-be true Columbia house deal that many US college students fall prey to..."Buy 12 CDs for $0.99" I spent my entire time in college paying off the 12 CDs which ended up costing anything but $0.99!

Aside from the music, Wyclef is an icon in other ways. Right from the beginning, he has been a mouthpiece for the long-suffering Haitian immigrant in the US. Being Haitian was not always popular. When I was in college, one of my good friends who was Jamaican described her shock and horror when a Haitian woman asked her innocently if she was Haitian. "H--e---ll no!!!!" was her curt response. Wyclef and the 'Fugees made being Haitian cool. I remember seeing a news item on tv about Haitian-Americans kids in Boston who felt proud of their heritage for the very first time in their lives all because of the Fugees. My man Wyclef is also very active in humanitarian efforts in Haiti.

His first solo album the The Carnival is still a favorite in my collection. It was also obtained through the afore-mentionned longstanding bittersweet relationship with Columbia House. I still remain convinced
that everything Wyclef touches turns to gold. He has an uncanny ability to collaborate with the most unlikely people to produce masterpieces. He remastering Guantanamera with the late Cuban great Celia Cruz and that was a hit.
Or how about producing Carlos Santana and the Product G&B on Maria, Maria and then there is the unforgettable Hips Don't Lie with Shakira. I almost forgot the socially conscious Diallo with Youssou N'Dour. His latest album shows he is still has that popular appeal.
See how I can ramble and praise sing all about Wyclef...
Anyway, back to him and the 026 experience. Even though Wyclef has been my idol for a while....*alas* I'm having doubts about whether I should attend the concert because:

• Hustling with the whole Accra in an open air stadium in a mosquito-endemic country just does not seem too appealing
  
• Staying up beyond 3am is a struggle coz you know that Wyclef will only grace the stage after hours and hours of local artistes...
  
• Overtly corporate sponsored events just do not sit well with me...does this mean I have to have to have to get a 026 mobile line?
  

Apparently, it is not only Wyclef who is coming; there is Eve and Mario. Now, the only think I really know about Eve is that 'okay' TV series and it is not like she is coming for the acting. Mario?? Is that like Mario Winans who sang that song I Don't Wanna Know? That song that someone I REALLY would like to forget used to play in his car? Well, as I contemplate to go or not to go, I really would like to see evidence that Wyclef is in Ghana which may help me along with my decision. You never know, The 026 experience may mean beaming him out via satellite....did someone say Michael? Mmm...

Of Colds, Night-callers and 15 seconds of Fame!

Without a doubt, last week was difficult but full of learning experiences. First of all, I was down with a pesky cold and then Wednesday night there was a medical emergency at midnight and me feverishly driving the young lady who helps us around the house to a local hospital.

Thursday night was filled with even more drama with a 3am house-call by 3 members (in good standing) of the MWTAG (Machete Wielding Thieves Association of Ghana) who stopped by to unload us of our mobile phones. The experience was so harrowing that I can only make light of it. Friday was spent shuttling and providing monetary “breakfast” to trusty law enforcement officers just to get them to do that thing called their job.

The week ended well, I got props from Mr. Emmanuel Bensah in his Science/technology column in the Sunday World Newspaper. Thank you Emmanuel! My lovely national service person who picked up the newspaper for me said I shouldn't be too excited because my procrastinatory ways have been exposed in print. The young man should not worry since no names were given! The big bruv was so impressed that after the reading the article he said:

"Do you want me to have a blog?, I can have a blog, I can blog too!"

The big sis sent her props from South Africa. The whole family has checked out the blog. Would you believe my 11 and 14 year old nieces are internet aces and are on facebook?

So, I have decided to chronicle the lessons I learnt over the past week. From the Bradley Effect, YouTubing in government hospitals to adventures in the Volta River Authority heartland. Stay tuned!

How to do useless procrastination on the internet or at least how Abby does useless procrastination on the internet

The beauty of having access to the world wide web (CREDIT: I'd like to thank Mr. Albert Gore for this fine invention) at work is that you have access to ample amounts of procrastination right at your fingertips! This is a fact I know way too well. I'm sure the people monitoring the 'net use at work wonder why I do the things I do on the 'ol net...I just can't help myself!! Anyway, here are my top 5 favorite internet sites:


1. www.google.com. Can you remember a life before google? When I first interneted back in 1996, there was netscape navigator and then came yahoo which was like the best thing since fried plantain. Then suddenly there was Google... It is so fabulous that you can be grammatically correct by saying you are "googling someone" but can you "yahoo someone"? Yes and boy do I google up a storm...From the guy I had a crush on in primary school (now what was that surname again?) to ...for vanity's sake...myself....well, unfortunately for moi some illustrious Ghanaian lady has the same first and last name as me so you will only find me on google search page number 4…and in reference to drugs..No, no, no, it is honestly not what you think. I'm being thanked as a hardworking research assistant in another life in drug addiction research in mid-town Manhattan..Isn't it strange how you grow up with a supposedly strange name that everybody butchers and mis-prounces when you are a kid.Then when you move to your home country in your mid-twenties everybody there is surprised how you have such a common name combination! Of course they first insist you must be a foreigner who has decided to take up a local name..since you supposedly look East or Southern African...Ahhh...misunderstood everywhere!

2. www.bbc.co.uk. My source for the news…Even though sometimes I wonder why...After all, do I not spend all day listening to the beeb on the radio? For some reason I only seem to believe news if it from the beeb...Used to check the infamous ghanaweb.com for news but then realised it was more opinions and speculation than actual news..
I must admit that the ‘ol beeb is sometimes slow to update news and has a thinly veiled disdain for Robert Mugabe which sometimes worries my quest for news impartiality…(DISCLAIMER: Abby has not been a fan of Sir Bob since the late 90s ...I beg, fire those salvos elsewhere!! If you are a fan of Sir Bob please endeavour to find a Zimbabwean and ask them how things are in their country before harping on about the evil colonialists trying to bring down a true African revolutionary). Even though I believe the beeb, I'm still waiting for the follow-up on a story they broke saying that the Kenyan government had armed Kikuyu militia at the state house which sparked the so called "post-election violence" ....don't you love media-derived catch-phrases like that?! Was this story clarified when I was stuck in the deepest equatorial forests of central africa for 2 unforgettable months recently? Must've been coz not a single beeb reporter has uttered a peep about it.

3. www.imdb.com : the internet movie database…what can I say I’m a movie freak...being a filmfanatic comes with being a procrastinator....Although being in Ghana my movie intake has lessened in recent years due to restrictions on variety. But in my heydey I watched anything and everything. The good...the very very bad and the plain ugly. I promise not to be smug with my movie knowledge so I will end here. I welcome challenges..thought! I have this scary genetic affliction where I retain a whole bunch of useless knowledge and facts...that's why I get along with my big bruv so well...we speak the same language and most of Ghana think we are mad.
Finding the 6 degrees of separation that tie together all BBC productions is my latest fascination. I just found amazing links in my head between Ang Lee's Sense and Sensibility and Love Actually...Emma Thompson's husband at the end of Sense and Sensibility (Hugh Grant) was her brother in Love Actually while her husband in Love Actually (Alan Rickman) was her brother-in- law at the end of Sense and Sensibiltiy...Her real-life husband (Greg Wise) was her would be brother-in-law in Sense and Sensibility while her real-life brother-in-law (don't know his name) became her brother-in-law at the end of Sense and Sensibility...do you need any more proof that I am crazy? Who cares about these facts anyway?

4. www.wikipedia.com: even if you can’t trust everything they say. In fact some of the things that pass for facts are plain scary! They really have to improve from their African stubs..You can imagine how great wikipedia is for a retainer of useless information like myself. I can check up everything from Southern African cuisine to a list of Kings of Asante Empire..When you are travelling to a new place you can always wiki it in advance.



5. www.facebook.com: First it was hi5 but that became snooze-worthy…For some reason, the 'ol buddies in the US of A had never heard of hi5...Now on facebook keeping up with friends and family has never been this fun!….provides excellent procrastination opportunities for a champion procrastinator such as myself…I recently found my best friend from primary school who was friends with someone else from our class who happened to be friends with my arch-nemesis from secondary school. Only Facebook can do that. Very soon “to facebook” will be a new verb in the dictionary alongside "to google", mark my words!

Life on Mars: Flashbacks to 1973 and endless possibilities

2 years ago my big bruv brought home a BBC TV series called “Life on Mars”. Since I had never heard of it, I stared at it for a couple of days and eventually forced myself to watch it out of boredom.

I stayed up all night watching episode after episode…mesmerized…Eventually I got the next season off Amazon.

I hear ABC has a remake lined up for an American audience….talk about ruining a good show!

Anyway, back to Life on Mars. I just could not get over the concept: in 2006 a policeman in Manchester (Sam Tyler) gets hit by a car and wakes up in Manchester in 1973, is he in a coma? has he travelled back in time? He is completely clueless and so are we.

Poor Sam is stuck in a 1973 nightmare without the internet, mobile phones or computers. While everyone thinks he is odd, he struggles to get home to the real world (2006) and in the meantime has to put up with police colleagues who are sexist, racist and smoke too much.The best character on the show is Sam's whiskey swigging wise-cracking boss from hell Gene Hunt: an expert in making off colour sexist comments, planting evidence, carrying out grievous bodily harm and taking bribes.. It is all a paranormal experience and Sam Tyler eventually meets his mum and the dad he never knew and they are both younger than him….The show is half fantasy half mystery with a little bit of police work that all seems to be related to Sam’s life in 2006 or to his past…

I don’t think I would have liked Britain in the 1970s. I think it would have been a depressing place with few foreigners and rife unemployment....After all, Maggie Thatcher was able to become Prime Minister back in 1979.

I think I was fascinated by the show because the idea of going back to Ghana in 1973 intrigued me. Back in 1973, we were hit by turmoil, we had just had another military coup and had just entered what is now considered the darkest era in Ghana's history. On the other hand, bell-bottoms, afros and platform shoes (“guarantees) were a la mode. I was not born yet and neither was my big bruv…My big sis was 3 years old and my parents decided to move to Lesotho in Southern African.

So if I had a chance to go back to 1973 what would I do?

1. Warn Ghanaians to keep the population hovering around 9million so we could all be REAL cedi millionaires
2. Invent the laptop or scout the world for Steve Jobs and Bill Gates to marry
3. Be an environmental campaigner and warn against the thinning ozone layer
4. Warn people about the coming plague in the form of HIV
5. Hang out with my parents
   

Time travel offers so many possibilities. There are so many paths we can take in life and given the chance to do it all over again, which way would we choose?…if we choose a path opposite to what we chose the first time around, would that change our entire destiny and the course of our lives? Kind of reminds me of the Butterfly Effect.

Butterfly effect (noun): the phenomenon whereby a small change at one place in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere, e.g., a butterfly flapping its wings in Rio de Janeiro might change the weather in Chicago

wordnet.com

That's where the endless possibilities lie. If my parents had never gone to Southern Africa, I would probably be a completely different person. I would have never had the life I did, the friends I have as well as the experiences that make me...me! It is amazing how life experiences actually shape your destiny and open or close possibilities.

The Effects of Lunch on the Ghanaian worker

My big brother, the same one who told me in the early 80s that my heart-throb Michael Jackson would never marry me because I was black…years later when Michael transformed himself from a black man to a Japanese woman, I admit that my big bruv may have been right..

Anyway, I digress…this is not about Michael. My big bruv has this theory that there is a direct correlation between our lack of productivity as a nation and the meals we indulge in at lunch….

So class, the equation is:

Ghanaian Worker + Typical Ghanaian lunch = Sleep for the rest of the afternoon

I have direct experience with this phenomenon. After a lovely fermented meal like banku (fermented corn and cassava dough), I have to prop open my eyes with tooth-picks.

In fact most Ghanaian lunches from Waakye (rice and beans), fufu (pounded plantain and cassava) have that effect.

I think my brother may have a point because when I was in the Netherlands earlier this year I noticed a different phenomenon:

Dutch worker + light sandwich lunch = 30 minute lunch + Nonstop work ‘til 6pm!

Eureka, I have solved the reason why we have a productivity problem in Ghana!

To elaborate on the equation:

Ghanaian Worker + Hot weather +Typical Ghanaian lunch = Lack of productivity for Mother Ghana

So if we could replace “Typical Ghanaian lunch” with “light sandwich lunch” we could in fact reverse the phenomenon and claim our well-deserved position as a middle income country!

Ghanaian Worker + Hot weather + light sandwich lunch = Productivity for Mother Ghana

Of course there is still the problem of the hot weather....