Big Brother Africa: Why I'm the "Need Not Apply" Candidate!

Big Brother Africa (BBA) auditions are here again! Well, at least that's what I heard on the radio. I must admit that I quite the reality television nut. There is something alluring about watching real people facing real challenges or just making a fool of themselves on TV. I enjoyed the recently-ended Da Viva Sew Project on Ghana Television, I used to love watching people descend into Lord of the Flies-esque chaos on Survivor and MTV Real World marathons were always a wonderful source of inspr...procrastination.

Aside from cheese, clogs, windmills and Rutger Hauer, Big Brother is clearly the best thing to come out of the Netherlands! The first Big Brother Africa was a particular joy to watch. One of my bestest buddies from high school was selected to represent her country and opted to make it a complete surprise. You can imagine my shock on the opening night when my brother pointed out that there was a person in the house that looked a lot like her.... even sounded a lot like her....HANG ON...was her!! She made us all proud during her stint in the house. Even though I’m a fan of watching strangers sit around all day and get on each others' nerves, I have been contemplating the reasons why I would never survive in the Big Brother Africa house:

1. Not Ghanaian enough: Let's face it, my fellow Ghanaians would vote me off first. My presence in the house would be a source of irritation and out-rage and I'm inclined to agree with them. Although my accent has lost most of its foreign inflections (after years of constant practice), the average Ghanaian would be quick to detect that I'm a foreign inter-loper not worthy to represent Mother Ghana. Indeed this may be true. After all:

• I do not have any Ghanaian boarding school hazing experiences…I was bullied in boarding school elsewhere.
• I never read Courtesy for Boys and Girls
• The only time I watched the popular show Osofo Dadzie was on holiday or when some family friend had a bulky VHS tape from the Motherland

2. The Bore factor: I’m actually quite an un-interesting person. It is very rare to see me throw caution to the wind. I have had very few wild and wacky moments....(well, my friend Sagar would beg to differ but lets ignore him!) ….I just cannot see myself doing body shots of tequila off the armpits of strangers or playing truth or dare naked in a hot-tub.

3. The (Dreaded) Shower Hour: A guy I know tuned in to Big Brother Africa ONLY for the famed shower hour. This is enough to prevent me from EVER auditioning for the show.

4. I'm a news junkie: I need to know what is happening in the world around me. I cannot imagine being cut-off from the news for 90 days..even news about family and friends counts. In 2007, Big Brother Australia was under fire for not telling a contestant that her father had passed away. Scary world we live in...

5. The Age Factor: I will not lie...I'm no spring chicken! I know Big Brother UK does have a taste for more "mature" contestants but alas, this is Big Brother Africa and:

• The averge BBA candidate probably remembers enjoying Britney Spears' Baby one more time as their first video as a kid. I on the other hand enjoyed Billie Jean as my first video and REMEMBER the Thriller hype.**

• The average BBA contestant probably grew up listening to Westlife and think of the Backstreet Boys and N 'sync as classic boy-bands.....I grew up listening to New Edition and think of the Jackson 5** as a classic boy-band.

There are so many other reasons to mention but there is really no point since I would probably not make it past the first round of selections anyway! Sigh...I will have to be content enjoying Big Brother Africa from the comfort of my couch.

**Ironically, references to Michael Jackson were made before his untimely departure.

Of Nollywood Premieres, Lounges and Chantilly Cream

I had a rare fun-filled weekend. On my previous post I rambled on about the spending time with Southern African Ghanaian (SAG) friends and indeed it came to pass. My friend S. is quite the Nigerian film (i.e. Nollywood) fan and convinced me to go to the much advertised premiere of the film State of the Heart starring the veteran Nollywood actors Richard Mofe-Damijo and Stella Damasus. The premiere was set to start at 7pm on Friday night and S. was worried that we were extremely late when we left my house at 6:40pm. Alas, she had forgotten this premiere was in Ghana and not Switzerland! We got to the National Theatre just after 7pm and were bemused to find a half-empty auditorium and a hollywood (as opposed to Nollywoood) film showing up on the screen. For the next hour and half we were subjected to a violent R-rated film without a single explanation from the event organisers. Eventually, the R-rated film went off and we were treated to Heroes Season 2, episode 1. Were these people for real?
At exactly 8:45pm, a popular radio DJ/ TV host Wolf took the stage. I actually felt really bad for the Wolf-man. The audience were understandably irate and baying for blood so gave him a hard time . He introduced some young hip-life artistes who lip-synched so beautifully to one of their tracks. Suddenly, the crowd erupted with cheers as Richard Mofe-Damijo, Stella Damasus and Segun Arinze made their extremely late grand entrance. Some photo-ops ensued and the angry crowd were at last appeased as we settled into the film. State of the Heart was a tad insipid, a tad predictable but I must say the acting was pretty good . After the film there were more photo-ops and apparently an after-party at Boomerang night-club. S. and I hurried away to look for a relaxing lounge to have a drink. Alas, I had left the directions to Twist at home so we made our way to Monsoon in Osu. The vibe was cool but the music was a little too loud for conversation. After we left Monsoon we contemplated a little dancing at Tantra before admitting the truth: it was 2am and we were darn tired! The next day S. and I met up with N. and her brother Y; my SAG childhood friends from Botswana. I had not seen Y. since 1996 and that was in Cape Town South Africa. We had some drinks at Frankie's Salad Lounge in Osu. This was my first time at "The Lounge" but had read about it from a posting by a fellow Ghana blogger Yngvild. The atmosphere was divinely mellow and we had a refreshingly intellectual conversation. It was probably one of the deepest conversations I have had in months! Fresh perspectives always make you realise how much you have become absorbed into any system.
Alas* S. departed for the US on Sunday morning leaving me a little sad. A pick-me-up came by the evening time which was well-spent knocking back glasses of wine with the big sis, big bruv, the sis-in-law and the newbie nephew Junior. Well, Junior abstained from the wine-drinking. The venue was the African Regent hotel with its "afropolitan" appeal and great atmosphere. Their apple pie and chantilly cream (fancy way of saying apple pie and vanilla ice-cream) is sinfully delicious.

In the end I did not see the cool "cousins". Apparently they found themselves at Rhapsody's on Friday night. Hopefully they dodged the cover! Alas, all good things must come to an end as family and friends leave the fair shores of Ghana until the next holiday season...*sigh* Happy Holidays everyone!