What's in a Name......Change

Daniel and Abena aged 2 years: Daniel's family lived next door to us in Swaziland from when I was 2 years. Yes, I know, earring-free I looked like a little boy. The name 'Abena' would instantly send out alarm bells that I was a girl....well, only alarm bells that could be understood in Ghana!

When my big brother Kwabena and I were 12 and 10, we presented a petition to our parents. We had grown tired of our names being mispronounced and butchered all over Southern Africa. We were weary of being different and wanted some English names. I think I had chosen something like Annabelle or Amber. My father laughed for minutes on end and finally the abrupt response came: "No". I was peeved and upset at the time. Now I'm just peeved and upset with myself for coming up with such a ridiculous idea. I love my name. It has always been unique. I have learnt to embrace this unique-ness and suffered through:

• Ahhhhh-Ben--Naaaaahhh in Southern Africa,
• Ah-Beeeee-Naa in America and
• Ap--Nah in the Netherlands.

I will not lie. I myself have not been the best pronouncer of my own name!

Then I moved to Ghana years ago and suddenly my name was no longer unique. It was so common that it raised more curious questions:

• "Your name is Abena???? Please, what is your other name, your Christian name"
• "Your name is Abena??? You have really tried. You have come to our country and have adopted one of our local names to fit in"

It did not help that just days before my flight to Ghana, I stood in front of a mirror with a large pair of scissors in my friend Nabs' apartment and did something completely spontaneous. I chopped off all my hair and left myself with a short-cropped hair-cut any Ghanaian Senior Secondary School girl would have been proud of. Of course what I did not realise then was that I was about to be constantly mistaken for a Senior Secondary School girl despite the fact that I was well into my 20s!

If it was not an SSS girl, I was presumed to be visiting Ghana from the US, East Africa or Southern Africa. In those days, natural hair for females 20 years + was quite rare. Eventually I conformed. With time, any traces of an American accent disappeared. My hair grew, it was re-processed and I joined the ranks of the 'weavealicious' to borrow from fellow blogger Sankofa.
Fast forward to the present. Living in Ghana with a name like Abena also comes with some level of familiarity that can be quite annoying. Imagine you go to the bank and are asked to wait and as soon as you are called it is likely to be:

"Abena, please come to Teller 2"

If my name was something like Janet Mensah. I'm pretty sure that it would automatically be:

"Ms. Mensah, please come to Teller 2".

My brother finds that too. At banks, instead of Mr. So and So he is addressed as:

"Kwabena" , "Kobby" or even more inappropriately "Charle, Kob-Beeeeee".

Of course things are even more interesting for Kwabena since his 1 year old son was also born on a Tuesday. Young Kwabena and his dad Kwabena also share the same middle name so sometimes my family and I get confused about who exactly we are referring to.

Kwabena and Kwabena when Kwabena was 1 month old. Hopefully neither Kwabena (nor Kwabena) will kill me for putting this on my blog.

Having a name that is easy to remember like Abena has also gotten me into some sticky situations. I have met random people in various parts of Ghana for work or in some other random capacity. All they need is the first name, my place of work and they can be sitting on the dusty couch in our office in no time!

When I first started blogging from Ghana, the name Abena was also pretty unique in the blogosphere. Now suddenly there are so many Abenas that I myself get confused: Did I just post that comment? Sounds like me!

I am also very curious... Where are all the Akuas, Amas, Afuas, Adwoas and Yaas in the blogosphere? Is it because I'm more aware of other Abenas? Is it perhaps that us Tuesday-borns are just uniquely creative? Hehehehe!

So finally, I have come to terms with the fact that if I remain as just Abena I am no longer unique. I have had to accept that change is inevitable. Enter Abena Serwaa. Well, until another Abena Serwaa comes along!

Daniel and Abena Serwaa 20++ years later: Please don't tell me I still look like a boy in this picture!

PS: My Cameroonian friend tells me Abena or Abendo is a popular male name in Yaoundé. YIKES. Also, a Danish company markets a brand of adult diapers under the name Abena. Double YIKES!